mdolla: 01/28/18

Sunday, January 28, 2018

How to Make Your Haters Like You

Having haters is a part of life. Hate comes in a variety of forms and can come from friends, family members, coworkers, classmates, associates and even random internet trolls.

Haters are the ugly side of success. If you have anything going for yourself, you’ve experienced hate. Whether you are intelligent, thin, curvy, in a relationship, single, have kids, or love your job, you are going to have haters. You hear the snide comments, see the random side-eyes, read the hateful comments under a social media post. You feel the tension when you try to discuss a recent win with a friend and then you find out that there are people dogging you behind your back.

Most people will tell you to just ignore your haters. They say that it’s just a part of life that you have to learn to deal with especially if you plan to do big things. And while that is accurate and sound advice, there is a way to turn some of your haters into friends.

The magic of asking for a favor

The quickest and easiest way to turn a hater into a friend is to ask them for a favor. It’s a well researched psychology technique called the Ben Franklin Effect^[1]. When you ask people who dislike you to help you out, it shifts their perception of the relationship and makes them view you as a friend instead of a foe.

Favors are for friends. You don’t usually do a favor for an enemy or someone you deeply dislike. It all has to do with cognitive dissonance. According to cognitive dissonance theory,^[2] there exists a tendency for people to establish consistency in their beliefs, values and opinions. When attitudes and behaviors become inconsistent, dissonance occurs.

The brain needs to eliminate the dissonance. The brain behaves as an outside observer. It continually watches and evaluates your actions and then contrives explanations for why you do what you do. Dissonance occurs most often in situations where an individual must choose between two incompatible beliefs or actions. So, in this case the reasonable belief is that favors are for friends. When you ask a hater for a favor, you create dissonance and the hater has to change their perception of you in order to perform the ask and eliminate the inconsistency.

Asking for a favor is also a subtle form of flattery. Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People suggests that requesting a favor allows the hater to feel that they have something we don’t. It levels the playing field in their mind. It also makes the hater feel admired and respected. They then not only want to help you but will also begin to see you differently. The hate dissipates.

Turn haters into friends

Asking a hater for a favor requires humility and a bit of thought. The favor should be something small enough that it is easily performed but not so trivial that it seems more of an insult than a favor. This means that you should consider the strengths, weaknesses, intellect and ability level of the person you are asking.

If it’s someone you don’t know, keep the ask simple. Borrowing some change at the vending machine or some other small item, asking them for assistance with an app on your smartphone or asking them to recommend a restaurant or other establishment are all great favors to ask for.

When you make your request, remember to ensure it sounds like you really need the favor and value the person’s help. Keep your tone humble and your body language open. And be sure you express your appreciation and gratitude for their help.

This technique is not just for haters. It works well with people you may not know well such as a colleague, mild acquaintance and even your secret crush. The simple action–making a small and reasonable request–can be the catalyst that transform a hater into a friend.

Experiencing hate as you work to become your best self is inevitable. Turning every hater into a friend isn’t a practical goal but you can befriend some. Simply humbling yourself, and asking for assistance in the form of a favor, is the first step in changing them from foe to friend.

Featured photo credit: Freepik via freepik.com

Reference

[1]	^	The Science Dog: The Ben Franklin Effect
[2]	^	Instructional Design: Cognitive Dissonance (Leon Festinger)

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This Increases Your Sleeping Time by 30%! The Ultimate Cure For Your Bad Sleep

Do you have trouble sleeping? Many issues can cause sleep deprivation including stress, hormonal imbalance, or even unfavorable sleeping environments. Some people tend to hear and feel everything around them when they sleep, while others sleep deeply.

This makes it easier for the former to wake up suddenly during the night to any slight noise or movement. Alternatively, it reduces productivity and creativity since the brain and body do not have enough time to rest. Nevertheless, the dream band is here to remedy this situation.

Your ultimate sleeping solution

This sleeping solution aids in improving sleeping patterns during sleep. The beauty of this product is the fact that it works in a personalized manner through sensors that respond to any brain changes as the user sleeps.

It was created by Rhythm, a neurotechnology company based in San Francisco and Paris. Through a team of seventy people, this amazing product was created with further input and consultation from ten research labs that are located in the USA and Europe.

Increase your sleeping time by 30%

This band has numerous features that increase the rate of sleeping by thirty percent. It provides the user with subtle sounds as they sleep to prevent them from interrupting their deep sleep. This reduces the chances of the user experiencing issues such as memory consolidation, cellular regeneration, or even hormone regulation. This amazing device also senses the right time for the user to wake up and facilitates this. It offers the user ways that can help him or her improve their sleep.

Accurate and Safe to Use

Its accurate sensors and distinct features make it one of the best sleep improving inventions in the market. Its personalized approach to remedying sleep deprivation caters to the needs of all the users as opposed to a holistic approach.

The band recognizes that each individual has different issues and works to remedy the situation. The brain activity at the time of monitoring aids in controlling the features and triggering sounds that improve sleep. Forbes stated the following with respect to the product, “A cure for all this bad sleep, one that you can literally wrap around your head.”

The band uses five dry polymer EEG electrodes to detect the sleep stage that the user is in. The bone conduction technology used by the machine aids in stimulating and transmitting safe sound to the bone to facilitate the specific sleep stage that the user is in. Apart from this it also uses learning algorithms, accelerometer, and Pulsoxy sensor to monitor the heart rate and frequency of breathing of the user. The band wraps around the head with the sensors in the fabric band and the internals on the top of the head to aid the user in achieving comfort.

Cool things website reviewed this product and thought that its design is comfortable enough to wear in bed. In fact, they advised users to equate wearing the device to wearing an eye mask as they sleep. For more information on this product, visit this website.

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Going Back to Frat House Living In Your Old Age Helps You To Age Better

Among the elderly, nursing homes, hospices and country-club retirement community homes aren’t the best of all places to spend their sunset days. But Beacon Hill Village in Boston is rewriting the narrative altogether, and the storyline is nothing short of jaw-dropping. A group of seniors who choose to stay adjacent to each other and strive to make their lives better has led to 190 similar communities springing up across the US.

Joseph F. Coughlin gave the community a visit, and while there, his story about a community creating an adorable aging experience sounds like it’s straight out of a fictional movie. A community of seniors, yet their daily life is reminiscent to happen on vacation, undoubtedly they are enjoying their lives. Impressively, they all relate to each other well, showing love and empathy even without the assistance of a caregiver.

Meet Joan Doucette, a 75-year-old cyclist member of the Beacon Hill Village

Imagine abandoning your regular 9-5, catching up with your ‘gang’ and planning a stimulating, adventurous and event-filled holiday? Sheer fun, right?

What Doucette and her 20+ colleagues are doing is what we all wish to enjoy as soon as possible, and their spirit of togetherness beats any other you’ve heard about before. They are lovely and carefree, regularly meeting for tea and movies, evening dinner at the local restaurants, some booze (exclusively men), chit-chats and adventure trips, on their bikes!

Away from Boston is another heart-melting village, San Francisco Village. Whenever one of their members is sick or needs reassurance after a significant setback, volunteers amongst its members uplift their friend. All the groups, as Coughlin writes, aren’t solely for fun and making memories amid their advanced ages.

They need no outside support

What’s impressive about the mantra within these facilities isn’t how they manage to shower each other with love and priceless warmth alone. Most of their members, especially those yet to attain 80 years, pursue different aspirations, including caregiving, engaging younger generations, organizing cultural fetes and volunteering. It is, perhaps a continuation of what their careers and occupations entailed and some nostalgia!

They accept challenges that threaten their newfound homeliness!

Joanne Cooper, a member of the membership committee at Beacon Hill speaks about the threats that they face and how they manage to pull through. Despite the whole community appearing a lot like a peaceful enclave, members exiting is a norm, either by date or voluntary withdrawal. Lack of funding and visionary leadership also forces similar villages elsewhere to close!

The post is, without a doubt, the best as it restores faith in humanity. This idea isn’t confined to the US alone since Homeshare program in the UK, and Switzerland and Germany’s Wohnen für Hilfe nearly have the same ideals. However, as the trend continues and the elderly enjoy their lives on their own, we, the rest, can’t help, but admire how moving the initiatives are.

To read the full article, click here.

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Miniature Embroidered Art by IpnotIpnot is Japanese embroidery... crss

Miniature Embroidered Art by Ipnot

Ipnot is Japanese embroidery artist. After discovering embroidery from her grandmother and then being fascinated by the French knot, ipnot has spent years perfecting her hand-embroidery art and today creates “paintings” using just needles and yarn.

Our archive is the treasure chest. Just open it and you’ll see.

posted by Margaret via

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