Tuesday, January 2, 2018
Explore Womanhood, Wonderment and Love In This Novel
In thіѕ іnvеntіvе dеbut novel What We Lose by Zinzi Clemmons, a young wоmаn wrіtеѕ hеr way out оf grief.
As a “strange іn-bеtwееnеr” wіth twо mіxеd-rасе parents a Sоuth Afrісаn mоthеr аnd аn Amеrісаn father Thandi muѕt navigate thе mаjоrіtу-whіtе suburbs оf Phіlаdеlрhіа, whеrе ѕhе’ѕ “оftеn mіѕtаkеn fоr Hispanic or Aѕіаn, sometimes Jewish.” “But уоu’rе nоt, like, a rеаl blасk реrѕоn,” ѕhе’ѕ told as a уоung ѕtudеnt, соnfіrmіng her feeling that ѕhе wаѕ “nеvеr fully accepted bу аnу race.” When her mоthеr dіеѕ оf cancer, Thandi muѕt come tо terms with thе loss including her strongest link to family in Jоhаnnеѕburg. Cаught bеtwееn two continents between Amеrісаn blасknеѕѕ аnd Sоuth Afrіса’ѕ legacy оf араrthеіd ѕhе sets оut to discover whаt mаkеѕ lіfе wоrth lіvіng аftеr trаgеdу hits. In the рrосеѕѕ, she рrоduсеѕ аn honest, рrорulѕіvе account of grief, іntеrrоgаtіng thе rеlаtіоnѕhір аmоng death, ѕеx, mоthеrhооd, аnd culture.
Wrіttеn іn соmрасt еріѕоdеѕ thаt соllаgе autofiction with ’90ѕ rар lуrісѕ, hаnd-drаwn grарhѕ, blоg еntrіеѕ, аnd рhоtоgrарhѕ, thе nоvеl pushes rеѕtlеѕѕlу аgаіnѕt іtѕ оwn bоundаrіеѕ lіkе Thandi herself. Clеmmоnѕ manages to wrіtе wіth есоnоmу wіthоut еvеr mаkіng hеr book fееl ѕmаll, аnd wіth humоr аnd frankness, ѕо thе nоvеl іѕ nоt overly ѕtеереd іn grіеf. Thіѕ іѕ a big, brаіnу drama tоld by a fеаrlеѕѕ, funnу young woman part рhіlоѕорhу, раrt ѕосіоlоgу, аnd раrt ghost ѕtоrу. “My thеоrу іѕ thаt lоnеlіnеѕѕ сrеаtеѕ thе fееlіng of hаuntіng,” Thаndі соnfеѕѕеѕ during a rough patch. Whether оr nоt уоu bеlіеvе іn ghоѕtѕ, рrераrе for Thandi’s voice to follow уоu frоm room tо rооm lоng after you рut thіѕ book away.
A compelling еxрlоrаtіоn of rасе, mіgrаtіоn, and wоmаnhооd in contemporary Amеrіса
In Whаt Wе Lоѕе, Clemmons examines rасе аnd grіеf thrоugh thе eyes of Thandi, a уоung Afrісаn-Amеrісаn wоmаn whоѕе earnest ѕеаrсh for bеlоngіng іѕ upended by the trаgіс loss оf hеr mother. Thаndі’ѕ story hеwѕ сlоѕеlу tо thаt оf Clеmmоnѕ’; іt’ѕ аutоbіоgrарhісаl fісtіоn оf the hіghеѕt оrdеr, not оnlу for іtѕ реrѕеvеrаnсе аnd humіlіtу, but fоr іtѕ роtеnсу.
“Like ѕо mаnу ѕtоrіеѕ оf the black dіаѕроrа, Whаt We Lose іѕ аn еxаmіnаtіоn оf haunting.” Doreen St. Félix, of Thе New Yоrkеr.
What We Lоѕе соnfоundѕ оur еxресtаtіоnѕ оf whаt a ѕtоrу аbоut grief ѕhоuld bе. In the trаdіtіоn оf fiercely іntеllіgеnt writers like Zаdіе Smіth аnd Chіmаmаndа Ngozi Adichie, Clеmmоnѕ’ wrіtіng is an асt оf resistance аnd сарасіоuѕ grace. One think it’s an important experience аnd аlѕо kіnd оf a fruіtful оnе fоr readers to bе аblе tо rеаd a bооk thrоugh thе eyes оf someone whо doesn’t belong. It’ѕ a vеrу valuable еxреrіеnсе fоr реорlе tо hаvе. For роѕѕіblу оbvіоuѕ reasons.
Reading duration: 4 hours 37 minutes
Get What We Lоѕе from Amazon at $14.94
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Why Hardship is Always Better Than The Easy Path?
We try hard to avoid conflicts every day. We choose the easiest and shortest path to reach the results desired, yet, these are exactly the elements challenge us to grow.
Don’t be scared walking down the wrong path, be afraid you stop growing from the easy life.
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This App is The Perfect Solution For All Working Parents
It can be quite difficult these days for families with young kids to go out for an evening on the town. Unless you are lucky to have a reliable family member that can watch the kids on short notice, you stuck having to find a local babysitter to watch the kids.
However, how do you know that the person that you are trusting to watch your precious kids can be trusted? Also, as a babysitter or nanny, how do you know that the person you are sitting for will not stiff you. If you own an Apple iPhone, there is an app for that, the Urbansitter App.
Find Your Perfect Baby Sitter
Urbansitter, Inc. created the perfect solution to the problem of couples looking for a sitter for their kids and local sitters/nanny’s looking for work. The Urbansitter App is a powerful resource that helps parents find local babysitters that have been used by other local families. The app includes a video profile of the person and it also includes reviews posted by others who have used them to sit with their kids. Contacts can be made safely and easily directly from the app. Babysitters can use the app to find sitting jobs that posted on the app.
This App Benefits Both Parents And Baby Sitters
Detailed video profiles and reviews of babysitters – Each babysitter has a video profile and you read reviews posted by people who have used them. All contacts can be made through the app. You can safely connect with the sitter directly through the app.
Sitters/nannies can look at job listings – Users can post on the app when they are needing a sitter, even if it is on short notice for the evening.
It Is a Lifesaver For All Working Parents
The Urbansitter App was a lifesaver for me, I was really needing to find a sitter for my two young kids when something came up the other day. I am relatively new to the area and I did not know anyone who I find on short notice to watch them. A friend recommended that I give it a shot, so I downloaded it to my iPhone. I looked through some of the profiles and read some of the reviews in order to find one that I felt comfortable with. After a great experience, I would give it a definite 5 stars out of 5 stars.
If you are struggling to find a good, reliable babysitter for your kids and you have not had much luck, you really should try the Urbansitter App for iOS. Just click here to find more information and to find where to download it.
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Wonderful Digital Surrealism from Justin PetersI’m a 22 years... crss
Wonderful Digital Surrealism from Justin Peters
I’m a 22 years old German digital surrealist artist who merges reality with my own imagination using photoshop. “Everything you can imagine is real” by Pablo Picasso, is a quote I live by, especially when creating my work: Painting my own dreamworld where everything is possible, through unexpected and unique imagery combinations, and photo manipulations. I hope that when people experience my work, they discover a new and different world, which they can dive into, to prove that everything is possible when you open your mind.
Thank you Justin for your submission! Submit here & don’t forget links to your website/other work and contact details.
Wonderful Digital Surrealism from Justin PetersI’m a 22 years...
Wonderful Digital Surrealism from Justin Peters
I’m a 22 years old German digital surrealist artist who merges reality with my own imagination using photoshop. “Everything you can imagine is real” by Pablo Picasso, is a quote I live by, especially when creating my work: Painting my own dreamworld where everything is possible, through unexpected and unique imagery combinations, and photo manipulations. I hope that when people experience my work, they discover a new and different world, which they can dive into, to prove that everything is possible when you open your mind.
Thank you Justin for your submission! Submit here & don’t forget links to your website/other work and contact details.
How to Make Someone Like You Before They Even Meet You
As humans, first impressions are very important. While we’ve heard that someone makes their first assumptions of you in the first 60 seconds of meeting, latest research by psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov from Princeton University have found it’s much much quicker than that. In fact it’s thought to happen within a tenth of a second.
In other words, it’s our facial appearance that will make or break a first impression with our brains instinctively looking for likeability, competence, trustworthiness, and aggressiveness.[1]
So can a negative first impression in that valuable blink of an eye be reversed?
We All Judge and Make Assumptions
We don’t make judgements out of spite. It’s the human instinct to survive that causes us to make a decision to judge in order to decide if a particular person is worth keeping around or not, as quickly as possible.
There are a couple of things going on in the brain here: our lack of relevant memories we hold with a new person causes the brain to compensate for the lack of information. It therefore tries to make connections through what we see and hear together with past experiences. This is the survival mode kicking in that helps us make that decision on whether it’s someone worth meeting again and weighs up the value of the person to us.
What Can Influence People’s Perception?
You may think what you see is a big factor in first impressions and, of course, it is. But have you ever formed an opinion of someone you’ve never met just by listening to someone else’s opinions of them? This is because the brain tends to make up stories or imagine information strongly based on our deep-rooted thoughts and beliefs.
As a result, when you do meet someone after hearing opinions about them, everything they do will tend to further reinforce that imagined impression. If they happen to act in a different way, the brain will assume it’s just an exception in the moment.
This is why, when you form an impression of someone you’re about to meet, it can be very difficult to change how you think about them. Most of the time we are unaware this first impression bias is going on. If you’ve heard Fred is a forward-thinking entrepreneur and you’re ideas of forward-thinking entrepreneurs tend to be aggressive, cut-throat, confident people, Fred will have a hard time convincing you differently even if he shows he’s none of those things. This isn’t because you’re a terrible person; it’s the first impression bias taking over.
Override The First Impression Bias
We all want to make a good first impression with anyone we meet and one of the most common ways to do this is to give a compliment. Compliments are little gifts you can give others especially when they’re meaningful and genuine. However, there is a danger to giving compliments to people you first meet. It’s nothing to do with you and everything to do with them; people tend to discount your efforts because they suspect you are intentionally trying to influence them through flattery even if this isn’t your intention. A way to get around this is to get someone else to pass on the compliment. This naturally reduces skepticism.
The third party route can work the other way; getting someone to say something good about you. This is because it psychologically shapes their idea of you in a positive light. This is a strategy that will instantly help you mingle with people who you haven’t met before as they’ll subconsciously like you from what they’ve heard. Of course, this can go against you if someone was to bad-mouth you (even unintentionally) and as a result people will naturally be more wary and closed off towards you.
There are some things to keep in mind when doing this:
- Never force anyone to speak about you. A compliment through a third party must always come from the heart. Asking a friend to do something they don’t want to do won’t come from a genuine energy. It could also backfire and cause that person to end up saying negative things about you. Just make sure you choose a person who knows you really well and would love to emphasise your positive attributes.
- Choose the type of compliment wisely. Make sure the compliment isn’t aimed at anything superficial like looks. Whether it’s a romantic opportunity or just friendship, it’s our personality that forms deep connections. So make it more about how kind, helpful or fun you are. This will cause less judgement in advance than your outward appearance.
- Don’t lie or exaggerate. It can be tempting to build yourself up to others in order to give a good impression but this only lasts in the short term. Getting someone to lie will never turn out well because people will always notice eventually if something doesn’t match up. Make sure the compliment is genuine and coming from a good place.
So, while a tenth of a second is all it takes to make a judgement (and something we can’t really control) the best way to counteract any possible negative conclusions someone makes of you, is to use the third party tactic. Sowing the seed first will allow someone to form a more positive opinion of you and will help give you a head start by eliminating the brain’s tendency to judge on a first meeting.
Featured photo credit: Freepik via freepik.com
Reference
| [1] | ^ | Association for Psychological Science: How Many Seconds to a First Impression? |
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