mdolla: The Most Common Mistakes That Make Great Relationships Turn into Bad Ones

It happened again. For some reason, something as simple as choosing dinner just turned into an argument. You don’t understand it. The two of you have always been a great couple, yet lately, something just isn’t right. What’s going on?

Time and time again, perfectly happy and in love couples make common mistakes that ruin their relationships. It’s difficult to identify the problem because there is no one-size-fits-all relationship advice out there.

Can’t wait turning things around?

But, there is a long list of the most common mistakes that ruin romantic relationships. If you’re hoping to save what the two of you have, it’s worth taking a look at the following relationship advice and figuring out what exactly applies to you and your partner.

The most common and fatal relationship mistakes

So, without further ado, here are the most common mistakes that can ruin great relationships:

Expecting your significant other to be telepathic

As much as you may want them to be, your significant other is not telepathic. They cannot read your mind. And it is not fair of you to expect them to magically know what you need if you haven’t clearly told them. If your partner doesn’t know what you need, it is not a sign that they don’t love you enough. It is a sign of a lack of communication.

What can you do? Learn to effectively communicate your wants and needs. Be truthful, open, honest, sincere, and patient.^[1] Without these traits, no relationship can grow and develop . Help your partner learn more about you by being clear with them. Give them the chance to be a successful partner.

Withholding information

We’re not talking about keeping their birthday gift a surprise until the big day, we’re talking about honesty. If you keep a secret and your significant other find out about it, guess what? You’ve just broken the trust between you two. And trust is nearly impossible to rebuild. Why bother rebuilding trust when you can just be honest and open in the first place?

Just to be clear, keeping a secret is equivalent to lying. It is not “withholding information”. It is lying and it is dishonest. One of the best pieces of relationship advice that I’ve ever heard is to keep trust between the two of you, not secrets.

Trying to fix their problems

Ever have a bad day at work and just need to vent, complain, and whine about the situation and the people involved? Did you want somebody to tell you what you did wrong, what you should have done, and what to do to fix the problem later? No, right? What you wanted was somebody to listen to you. That’s it. You just needed to get it all off your chest.

Guess what? It’s exactly the same with your significant other. If they have a problem and they choose to confide in you, it is not your responsibility to provide a solution.^[2] Unless your partner specifically says something along the lines of, “What would you do?”, “What should I do?”, or “Please help me fix this problem.” – just listen. Pretty simple relationship advice, right?

Expecting them to make you happy

Yes, your partner should care about your happiness. No, your partner should not actively seek to destroy your happiness. But, it is not your partner’s job to make sure all of your needs are met. Being in a relationship does not mean that you stop being an independent individual.

What’s the point of the relationship then? Well, to grow and develop together, while maintaining independent identities. Healthy relationships are all about providing support, sharing dreams, and being happy for the other person’s emotional and intellectual growth. It’s about being considerate and giving, not about making the other person happy all the time.

Communicating with negative nonverbal signs

Both of you are probably guilty of this one. Your partner says something that just sounds ridiculous so what do you do? Roll your eyes? Shake your head? Mutter something unintelligibly or otherwise indicate your disapproval without words?

My relationship advice? This isn’t necessary. In fact, it’s sort of rude. Don’t treat your significant other this way. It’s almost as if you’re asking for an argument. Show some respect to the person you are choosing to be with. Change your nonverbal cues for something more positive. A smile, a light touch, a hug, eye contact. These actions will benefit both of you much more than negative nonverbal communication.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, heed the relationship advice. Don’t go down any of these common paths unless you’re hoping for your relationship to end. Remember, relationships are all about caring, loving, showing consideration, and growing together. They take commitment and effort to be healthy, fulfilling, and successful.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

Reference

[1]	^	MSN: 8 Common Relationship Mistakes That Are Ruining Your Marriage
[2]	^	MindBodyGreen: 12 Mistakes that Can Ruin Your Relationship + What to Do Instead