mdolla: Dealing With Rejection The Right Way Can Open Up More Doors

Rejection happens. It’s a fact of life, and it always will be. It happens to everyone, and I know it’s certainly not a good feeling. We always want to please others and make ourselves look the best we can. This is only natural; we are human. Sometimes, however, we tend to get into a habit of avoiding certain situations in which we fear getting rejected.

We all have dreams and goals, but if we let the fear of rejection get in our way of these goals, then we are just going to keep dreaming, and those dreams and goals are always going to be just like a hanging fruit right in front of our faces. So close, yet so far. Sticking close to the status quo gives us a sense of shelter that we will not be hurt, and be protected against any form of rejection.

But I really have to ask you, is trying your best and putting one foot in front of the other, and just getting out there, trying as hard as you can – worse than just sitting back and wondering, contemplating, what if? What if I wasn’t afraid? What if I didn’t care about getting rejected?

It’s a choice we all have to make. For some, choosing to sit on the sidelines and be safe feels less painful. But for others, having that regret in the back of their minds forever is just not worth it. Some may feel this is more of a motivator, to face up to the fear of rejection and just go for it no matter what.

So we know that it may happen, but it’s how we react and respond to that rejection that will shape the events that come afterward. Today, I am going to show you how to take a negative situation and turn it to an enormous potential to take an opportunity to another level.

First off, though, let’s look at what types of rejection we may encounter in our lives.

Fear Of Rejection

Rejection is often paralyzing to most. It stops you in your tracks from doing something that you would like to do. It is a state of mind, which cripples you from doing and saying something because of the fear and uncertainty of what other people with think, say, or do.

I remember when I was younger, and I was looking for a part time job after school, I had applied to a local video store, and let’s just say over a period of a couple of years, I continued to be rejected for a job for whatever reason. In total, I failed to get a job after applying seven times and multiple interviews for this place.

Looking back, I am happy I never ended up working there, but at the same time, I kept on moving on, moving forward and keeping positive. If I had stopped living life after being rejected even after a few times, I would have never grown, developed, or become a better person.

You may think you may not being accepted, being turned down, and made fun of, only happens to you, but don’t worry, millions of people get rejected every day for just about everything – it’s nothing personal.

Types Of Rejection

1. Job Interview

This one is pretty standard. You arrive early to an interview, wearing your best attire, going over answers to possible interview questions that you may be asked. You are as prepared as you can be. You nail the interview, and everything goes well in your mind. Yet you get an email from the employer a week later saying thank you, but they have chosen another candidate, but your resume will stay on file.

2. Society/Meeting New People

You are out with a friend sitting at a coffee shop, and then some of their friends that you don’t know, show up, and they start talking. You feel awkward as you don’t know any of these other people, but feel compelled to pretend you are a little bit sociable and decide to be part of the conversation. You want to impress these people also to like you and hope they do.

3. Work Dealings

It’s your first day as a sales rep for this major company. You are excited to get out there and show your stuff and prove they were right to hire you. One of your first clients to meet for the day is an account the company would love to get. You show up and pitch your presentation. Does this client agree with you on why they need to spend so much money when the economy is rough right now? What if you can’t land the contract, does your boss get mad at you and start to treat you as less worthy?

4. Friends/Peer Pressure

Sitting at a party with some of your close friends, some of them start smoking in front of you. They begin to confront you and say why aren’t you doing it too. They offer you a cigarette and even light it up for you. Do you take it? Do you start smoking when you said you never would? Will you still be cool to your friends if you say, “No thanks!”

5. Romance/Dating

Butterflies galore. Leaning up against the wall at a club, you see someone from across the room that captures your eye. Your heart melts, and you see Cupid flying by. What do you do? Do you look away? Do you keep staring? Or actually, walk up to the other person and start talking to them, as your heart races a mile a minute?

Rejection Actually Spurs Creativity

The research was done by Sharon Kim of Johns Hopkins University. She set out to prove that the feeling of rejection can help us better access our more creative side.

Why is this important? Because it shows that even if one person doesn’t think you or your ideas are valuable, there are certainly others that will. And you cannot stop your passion and drive to succeed by just one event. You can take it as a good thing because it shows that your ideas are ahead of the time and that you are not only taking a mainstream approach, and usually, the best things happen to those who go off the beaten path and don’t follow the crowd.

Rejection can lead to more creativity. See, you want to be able to say to yourself that there is nothing wrong with you. Not at all, in fact, you are perfect in every sense of the word. You are unique, and that uniqueness is priceless in this world because you have your own thoughts, feelings, and ways of doing things completely different than anyone else.

Follow These Simple Steps Right Now To Reject Rejection

You cannot take it personally. I am a man of faith, and I believe that if one door closes then another, even better one will open up. It’s that adage that says good things come to those who wait. Here are a few things you can do today to battle rejection:

1. It’s All In Your Mind

Say to yourself that the fear you are feeling is all in your head. The thing about rejection is that we play a game in our minds. We try to come up with scenarios of what could happen if I actually do what I am afraid to do. No one can predict the future, let alone what will happen in the next 5 minutes. The first thing you can do to face your fear is just to go on and do it anyway.

Who cares? Prove it to yourself that you don’t really care about the outcome no matter what it is. Want to ask someone out on a date, just go up to them and ask. What is the worst that can happen? Ask yourself that. And when you actually think about it, you will realize that even if you get turned down, that’s okay! You haven’t lost anything.

2. Focus On The Positives

Stop focusing on the negative outcome, and focus on the positive. Instead of an emphasis on the worst case scenario for what you are afraid of will happen, shift your thinking around to what positive outcome that may come out of it when you go ahead and attempt what you want to do.

We have an unfortunate tendency to always focus on the bad, the wrong, the negative, the mistakes. But this is not okay. When trying to overcome rejection, you have to see yourself in your mind not failing, but visualize what it would be like to have succeeded. How good will you feel inside, and how good life will be.

Afraid of giving a presentation to 100 people? Don’t worry about you forgetting your lines, or not making proper eye contact. Focus on the roar of the crowd, the cheers, the claps, the standing ovation you will receive after you nail a perfect presentation. Shift your thinking beforehand, so you can give yourself a chance to realize your dream.

3. Be Persistent

Have you ever seen a child not get what they want? It does happen, but a lot of times, a child will get exactly what they are after. This is due to a few things, which all stem to the thought process. A child can go up on stage and give a presentation to 1000 people and not think anything of it. They don’t have fear, period. They don’t care. Rejection is not anywhere in their vocabulary.

This leads to why they sometimes get their way. Persistence. There is no such thing as failing to them. Rejection is not about trying once, then stopping. It’s about trying again and again until it works. So if there is anything that children can teach us adults, it’s don’t take no for an answer, and never, ever stop trying.

Final Thoughts

This is how you have to think about it. Don’t just think that because you got rejected once, twice, thrice, that it’s over. It’s not! There is no limit to success. If you haven’t yet reached your goal in life, gotten hold of your dream, the only one that can stop you is you. So don’t let yourself nor anyone else ever hold you back!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

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