mdolla: 6 Struggles A 30-Something Woman Has When She Is Not Sure She's Ready For A Baby

For a man, the big 3-0 is a time of joy as he is wiser, more handsome, and if he’s lucky, he’s also richer. But for a woman, the big round number comes with other joys: sexual maturation, an amazing sense of style and fashion, and the delight of knowing what she wants. Except, when it comes to having a baby.

You know, at 30, a woman’s biological clock begins ticking really loudly. 30 is the age when women start to worry about the number of their eggs and start visualizing the grim possibility of never becoming a mother. But what if that strong, confident, wise 30-something woman is not sure that she even wants to have a baby? Therein lies the struggle.

1. You Get Pressured by Family

After your 30th birthday, all your family starts to put pressure on you to have a baby. If two weeks ago your parents and older siblings were talking to you about date rape drugs, now they are talking about your fertility and why you’re not doing anything with it. You’re going to hear “90% of your eggs are gone by your 30th birthday,” way too many times. And while you do know they might be right, you’re just not ready to hear it.

2. Your Mind Switches Between Two Extremes

When you can’t sleep or when you see a pregnant woman, your mind starts switching between two horror stories. There are the stories about 20-something-year-old women who struggle to have a baby and fail and there are the stories about 50-something-year-old women who manage to give birth by a miracle. Your mind will continue to switch between these two extremes for a long time to come, putting more pressure on you.

3. You Have a Fear of Missing Out

A 30-something woman is going to see her childhood friends filling their social media accounts with pictures of their kids. Playing into this is scientifically proven to lead to depression, especially if you want to have a baby, but you are not ready yet. In most cases, if one of your friends has a baby, she will gradually distance herself from you and all the other women who don’t have kids, as your main discussion topics will start to change. Watching all those pictures of kids online is going to produce a feeling of emptiness, urging the ticking of your biological clock, even if you are not ready for this yet.

4. You Buy Pregnancy Tests

As result of all the pressure put on you, you are most likely going to stock up on commercial pregnancy tests and learn everything about a homemade pregnancy tests. Some women also end up downloading apps to calculate the time of the month where they are at their most fertile based on their cycle, while others ask their partners to eat cleaner and give up on all their bad habits, such as smoking.

5. You Eat All The Foods Forbidden During Pregnancy

Despite stocking up on pregnancy tests, as a 30-something who is still undecided on having kids, you are going to eat as many forbidden pregnancy foods as possible. This is partially due to the pressure put on you from everyone and partially because you know that once you become pregnant, you won’t be able to eat those foods for the next nine months.

6. You Admire Yourself in Front of a Mirror

This is a classic sign of a woman who is not yet ready to become a mother, and at the same time, one who definitely does want to have a baby. While in front of your mirror with a pillow under your shirt as a belly, after hours of admiring that false baby bump, you might decide to conceive that night. In the end, however, you are still not sure about the reality of having a baby. A pillow baby is one thing, but a real human life is a completely different committment altogether.

If you find that you’ve missed your period, you will eventually use one of those pregnancy tests. When you do, you will really find out if you are ready for a baby. If the second line fails to appear and you release a big sigh of relief, you weren’t ready yet and you should just wait for the right moment to try for a baby.

Having a baby is not a decision to make because everyone else is doing it or because your parents are pushing you and you feel pressured. Don’t let anyone push you into motherhood. When it is the right moment, you will know, because conceiving will come smoothly and naturally. No force necessary.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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