Thursday, March 2, 2017

Always Feel That You Don't Have Enough Time? You Need To Understand Yourself First

Feeling pressed for time is common among many of us. We all get the same amount of time each day to be productive. And it can sometimes feel as if the twenty-four hour day isn’t enough. Mastering the art of time management can be challenging. So we’ll share two proven productivity techniques you can use to do more with the time you have.

Determine Your Peak Hours Of Productivity

The essential principle to productivity is all about how well you blend time with energy. Once you nail down your ideal peak times, you can complete tasks at the energy phase that is right for you.

Managing energy, not time, is the key to high performance and personal renewal, says Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, authors of the bestselling book The Power of Full Engagement. Harness energy and time to reach greatest productivity.

It is important to identify your peak hours. Schedule the most important tasks for those hours. To determine when you feel more productive, perform a self-analysis. Ask yourself: when am I most energized? enthusiastic? creative? Discover when your peak cycle of productivity is at its highest. It could be morning, afternoon, or evening.

Personal activities and work tasks are not created equal. Each requires a different level of energetic output. Some tasks might be mentally draining. Other tasks can energize or excite you. Address demanding tasks during your ideal peak times. Schedule non-critical tasks for times when the peak cycle is low.

Then, create Time Boxes To Manage Tasks

The key to using a time box is to set a deadline to meet a specific goal, stick to it, track progress, and move on to the next task.

So if you plan to complete an activity in an hour, it should stop at the end of the time box. When a project or daily task is too large to complete in the allotted time, break it into smaller tasks. This way you can time box tasks to increase efficiency.

Time boxes encourage us to focus more on time than tasks. Give yourself 15 minutes to return a phone call or clear your email inbox. If you only have 30 minutes to spare, organize something you’ve been meaning to get to. Set a time box and stick to the commitment to complete it within the specified time frame.

Set A Time Box With These Easy Steps:

  • Estimate the length of time it will take to complete the tasks on your to-do list and allocate times for each.
  • Use your smartphone or computer to schedule alerts to help you move from one task to the next.
  • Choose set periods of time that work best for you. Consider the right time of day and limit sources of interruptions or distractions.
  • If you run out of time, stop when the time box does. Assess why you didn’t complete the task and plan to schedule the task in a different way next time.

Time is a limited resource, so is energy. Make use of each in strategic ways. When used in the right way, these resources enable us to be more productive for both work and play.

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Science Explains Why We Are All Love Addicts And How We Should Embrace It

We all know that crazy feeling of falling in love. We can’t stop thinking about our partner, from the moment we wake up until the moment we go to bed. Maybe this is happening to you right now. Do you find yourself distracted throughout the day? Can’t seem to think straight? It’s almost as if you are addicted to being in love. And the truth is – you are.

Or maybe you’re not addicted to a new love, but rather you can’t get over an old one. The two of you broke up and you know it was for the best, but you just can’t stop thinking about your ex. Maybe you’re wondering what exactly is going on to make you miss your ex so much. Well, science has an explanation.

Love is part of the reward system of the brain.

You know all of those crazy feelings and thoughts you have when you first fall in love? Your brain is responsible and starts mixing chemical cocktails that make you feel addicted to your partner. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, explains:

“Love is not an emotion – it’s a motivation system, it’s a drive, it’s part of the reward system of the brain.”[1]

Neuroscientists Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki conducted research to compare the brain activity of happily in-love couples with that of addicts who had just injected drugs.

What they found is shocking. It turns out that the two activities both activated the same regions in the brain’s reward system.[2] Additionally, further research has shown activity in the nucleus accumbens brain region, which controls all addictions, of in-love couples.

Like an addiction, you can’t stop your feelings from growing when you fall in love.

Two people in love exhibit all of the characteristics of a drug addict.

Think about it, you can’t wait for the next time you see your new love, hear their voice, or get to touch them. In fact, you crave for it.

You feel a rush just thinking about your new partner, and your feeling only continues to grow. This growing obsession is referred to as “intensification” when talking about drug addictions.[3]

Yet your addiction doesn’t end when the relationship ends. Oh no, that would be too easy.

Instead, your brain goes through withdrawals, especially if you’re the person who was dumped. Crying, loss of appetite, eating too much, anxiety, not sleeping enough, sleeping too much, and feeling lonely. Have you experienced any of these symptoms after a breakup? You’re not alone. These are the same symptoms of drug withdrawal.

But this kind of addiction turns out to be what we need for survival.

Survival of species relies on being addicted to love.

In order for the human species to survive, emotional attachment is necessary. In order to make sure that humans continue to thrive and multiply, your brain steps in.

When you start getting to know a potential romantic partner, the amygdala and prefrontal cortex in your brain turns off. These are the areas responsible for making judgment calls and producing negative thoughts. In other words, you are prevented from being judgmental and thinking negative thoughts about your new partner. Since all you can think of are hearts and flowers, the emotional attachment in your relationship grows.

Addiction to love can be a positive thing when the relationship is appropriate and the feelings are mutual. However, it can also be just as toxic as a drug addiction when the romantic advances are unwanted, rejected, or inappropriate.

Bravely face the emotions rollercoaster when you fall into and out of love.

If you find yourself falling in love with someone, remember to enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions. It’s one of the most amazing things that keeps us alive.

If you find yourself staying in a toxic relationship or unable to get over an ex, remember that these thoughts and feelings are normal. However, don’t let loose of yourself and indulge yourself in it because like an addiction, you need to face it and do something in order to overcome it.

The good news is that science proves it can take only 11 weeks to get over your ex.[4] When you feel really hurtful trying to quit the “addiction”, hang out with friends and family. When you surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and safe, you can fill that feeling of emptiness. Being with close friends and family also helps your brain produce more opioids, which are like the natural painkillers.[5]

Or try repeat affirmation. Charlotte Davis Kasl writes in her book Women, Sex, and Addiction,[6]

Once the negative core beliefs have been exposed and challenged as false, you need to adopt positive, life-affirming beliefs. ‘I am unlovable’ becomes ‘I can love and be loved, I am a sacred child of the Universe.’ Feelings of hopelessness are counteracted by the new belief ‘I have the power to change my life.’ ‘I am defective’ slowly changes to ‘I get to make mistakes and be loved.’

Work on your mind, and your soul will heal. It takes time to quit any kind of addiction, but if you embrace the emotions and bravely face it, you’ll eventually overcome the withdrawal from a relationship.

Featured photo credit: Inna Lesyk via pexels.com

Reference

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To Persuade People, The Key Is To Make Them Feel Good

Have you ever felt it hard to get someone to believe you, or do something that you want them to do? Whether in selling something or just winning friendships, we all need to have skills to persuade another person. You could use it in little things, such as in getting a discount from the market, or landing a major business deal. Follow the three tips below and you will surely be more persuasive.

1. Do not forget to mention the other person’s name.

Mentioning the name of the person that you are talking to always makes the other person feel that you are sincere and that you do pay attention. An example is:

A: How was your trip to Cancun, Griselda?

B: It was very good, thank you!

A: That is great? Griselda, can you give me some recommendations on what to visit in Cancun if I go?

B: Of course I can! Thank you for asking!

2. Leave the decision to them.

When I bought my first car, there was a lady that talked to me in her office and was selling extended car repair insurance and life/accident insurance. After she stated all the facts and information about the product, I found myself saying yes to her. I was baffled because I just agreed to spend more money after putting out a downpayment for my car.

What made me say yes to this additional charge? Because the lady was not forceful and at the end of her spiel, she confidently said, “It is up to you, just let me know if you want it or not, and I can prepare the paperwork for you.”

No, she did not say, “You should get this insurance, blah, blah.” Instead, she left the decision making to me, the customer, and she only did her job in providing me with information and answering my questions. She m are me feel that I was exercising my own freedom in making a personal decision without the influence of someone else. And that is a liberating feeling.

3. Let them know the “whys” to get them to follow instructions.

Nobody wants to be ordered by someone else on what to do, and that is why it is in reality hard to get other people to follow instructions. But if you tell them why – they are supposed to be doing what they need to be doing, then chances are higher that you will get them to follow instructions. This is because if the person knows the root and the effects of the action, they are more likely to follow to achieve the end result that could also be beneficial to them and to others.

If you want to pursuade others, you need to be open and not forceful. Gentleness, objecticity, transparency and open-mindedness go a long way when it comes to being a good negotiator.

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Library Extension: Chrome Extension That Gets You The Book You Want On Amazon For Free

There are so many resources out there now, including the internet, to educate ourselves, so there really is no excuse for not learning. When shopping for books on Amazon, buying can be so easy and convenient. But if you’re hard up and still wanting to boost your knowledge, whether it’s reading about finance, or learning how to knit, or just any kinds of novels, the books available on Amazon will cost you some money, and you have to wait for the books delivery.

There’s this handy chrome extension that will help you out and cut out the expenses of actually owning a book.

Library Extension lets you instantly see if the books you want can be found in your local library

With this awesome extension, you can see if any book and e-books you are interested in buying on Amazon or on Goodreads is already available in your library to borrow and then return.

While you have the option of owning the book and placing it proudly on your shelf (always a feeling I enjoy), you now at least have the option of considering using your local library, and saving your money!

This convenient and unobtrusive extension can save you a lot of time, avoiding the need to trawl through library websites or shelves. We often forget the option that libraries give us in this digital age, and I would argue they are still a precious resource; to have the option to learn for free and to access thousands of other people’s stories, knowledge and advice.

If you do decide to use it you can add your favourite local libraries and pick the book up that same day if you like, making delivery even faster than amazon, and keeping your local library going for future generations to enjoy.

Start browsing on Amazon or Goodreads and keep the Extension active

Put this in your to-do list, and you’ll remember to install it!

“Install Library Extension to Chrome”

TO DO ?

By adding this item to your to-do list, you can translate what you've learned to an action.

Big changes in life start with the small step you take today!

“Install Library Extension to Chrome”

Added to to-do list

“Install Library Extension to Chrome”

Completed on

Just browse for the book you want and click on the extension in your browser address bar to find out if it’s available in any libraries close to you.

The extension covers local libraries in the Unites States, Australia, Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, New Zealand and Cayman Islands.

So if you’re looking for a cheaper option, then definitely consider giving this a try. Just make sure you return your books on time!

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Everyone Is Insecure About Something. It's Not Just You

How many times have you walked into a room and started comparing yourself to everyone else? Your inner dialogue may be something like, “She’s more successful than me. I’m not as confident as him. I’m not attractive enough.” Chances are that most people in that room are questioning themselves, too. The good news? There are ways to change that.

You’re not the only one who has an inner critic. Everyone has insecurities that affect them daily. Here are a few ways to help quiet the inner critic and start accepting yourself, flaws and all.

  • Give yourself the advice you would give a friend: We’re our harshest critic. Think about what you would tell a friend if they came to you with the same insecurities you have and apply that to yourself. Practice self-kindness.
  • Make small changes: If you set small, attainable goals for things you can change, you’ll feel more confident. Maybe you don’t feel like you fit in anywhere – Join an online group geared toward your interests. If you’re unprepared for your day at work because you get there late, get up earlier to give yourself time to settle in.
  • Be kind to yourself: Everyone has things they see as flaws. Your laugh isn’t too loud, you’re not too opinionated, and the freckles on your nose don’t make you unattractive, they make you unique.
  • Don’t let the past define you: You’re a sum of your experiences, but the past doesn’t define who you are. A failed project or unmet goal doesn’t make you a failure. A bad choice you made a month ago doesn’t mean you’re stupid. Negative things happen and they’re opportunities for learning, not a weight to hold you down.

Embrace yourself and understand everyone has insecurities. Recognize what you can change and accept the things you can’t. Take baby steps and you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.

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Selected works by Aykut Aydoğdu, a freelance illustrator from... crss

















Selected works by Aykut Aydoğdu, a freelance illustrator from Istanbul, Turkey.

previously


Let’s make #CrossConnect the most popular hashtag on Twitter!

posted by Margaret

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really-shit: Photographs of Léa by Marta Bevacqua crss















really-shit:

Photographs of Léa by Marta Bevacqua

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Your page really gives comfort crss

Thank you very much indeed :) crss