Monday, September 11, 2017

Understanding Your Partner's Desire Can Lead To A Healthier Sex Experience

He wants sex all the time. She is never in the mood. He wants to have sex to feel close. She needs to feel emotionally close to want to have sex. He wants physical gratification. She wants to cuddle and feel loved.

These are just a few stereotypes that can be used to describe heterosexual relationships. And while these statements may ring true for some couples, far too often we fall back on cliches which highlight the pervasive belief that men are sex-crazed while women could take or leave sex.

But are we really so different?

Maybe not. Increasingly, sex researchers are concluding that men and women’s sexual desires may be more alike than we previously thought. In fact, it seems that not only are many of the stereotypes I described above just plain wrong, but holding onto them actually can get in the way of good sex and true authentic connection with our romantic partners.

While there are plenty of ways that men and women’s desires are more similar than different, there are three myths that have a particularly negative impact on our intimate relationships:

Myth 1: Men Have Higher Sex Drives Than Women

Many people, if asked who they believe has more sexual desire – men or women – would likely respond men. And that’s because the notion that men are more interested in sex than women is something we learn in our teenage years throughout our adult lives. Plus, we don’t only learn that men have more desire than women, we learn that men should have more desire than women. In fact, many of us assume that if the man in a heterosexual relationship has lower interest in sex than his female partner (or the woman has more interest in sex than her male partner) something is wrong. With him. With her. With their sex life – and maybe even their relationship.

But study after study is finding that women want to have sex as much as men do – and that many women want to have more sex than their male partner. Studies on desire discrepancy in couples (a clinical term for when one partner wants more sex than their partner) have consistently found about a 50/50 split in terms of men and women reporting higher levels of sexual desire. In other words, women are equally likely to have the higher sexual drive in a heterosexual relationship. And most recently a UK study found that as many as 59% of heterosexual women reported having higher desire than their male partner. So the thought that men want more sex than women is simply not supported by sex research.

Myth 2: Feeling Desired is Only Important to Women

Wanting to feel wanted is a huge component of women’s sexual desire. Most women tend to like when their partner tells them they look good, or flirts with them, or makes the first move. It makes us feel wanted and, as long as the desiring is coming from someone we are interested in (or love) it tends to feel great. But a lot of women don’t necessarily pause to think about whether that’s something their male partner would like in return.

However, in my own research I interviewed men about what turns them on, and one of the most common things that men described as a facilitator of their interest in having sex was feeling desired by their female partner. How do men feel desired, exactly? Men described the positive impact of receiving compliments (about their appearance or personality), having his female partner initiate sex and her showing excitement and presence during sex, all of which made him feel sexually wanted. Yet despite wanting to feel desired, most men I interviewed said that their female partner either did not know this was important to them, or simply did not do those things to make him feel wanted.

Myth 3: Women are Touchy-Feely – Men Just Want Sex

The third big thing that many of us assume differentiates the genders is the notion that women like to cuddle and embrace nonsexual intimacy while men just want the physical gratification from sex. But the thing is, both men and women want intimacy that goes far beyond “getting off” during sex.

In my research, I interviewed men about their sexual desire and men often referred to the importance of feeling connected to their partner through many avenues that had nothing to do with sex. Specifically, men described the importance of intimate communication, spending quality time with their partner, watching movies and going on walks, just to name a few. And it wasn’t uncommon for men to say that they wanted these experiences over and above having sex. Yet despite this many men still feel that the assumption that they want sex first and foremost continues to dominate.

So these stereotypes are wrong. Why are they so bad? And what can I do about them?

The reason these gender stereotypes get in the way of good sex is because it pigeon holes both men and women into certain roles that may not be accurate of their true sexual experiences. For example, women who have more desire than their partners may feel they need to “tone it down” or may get upset with their male partner for not wanting to have sex when they do. The other side of the coin is that men are short changed as being sex-crazed and may feel the need to feign desire to meet those expectations. And not being true to ourselves is a sure sign of decreased authenticity and connection to our sexual partner, in and out of the bedroom.

The good news is that increased awareness of the changing norms about men and women’s sexual desire is the first step to changing your sexual interactions with your partner. If you notice that you or your partner may be holding onto any of the gendered stereotypes I described above – ask yourself whether you can make space in your relationship to question and gently challenge those norms.

For example, if you’re a man with a lower desire than your female partner consider whether your lack of interest is just normal human variation instead of spending endless hours trying to determine a root cause of the “problem.” If you’re a woman with a male partner who always initiates sex or compliments you, consider whether you could try initiating flirting here and there to make him feel good too. And regardless of your gender, enjoy and embrace cuddling knowing your partner most likely enjoys it too (and sometimes prefers it to sex!)

The post Understanding Your Partner’s Desire Can Lead To A Healthier Sex Experience appeared first on Lifehack.



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How to Set a Fitness Goal That Will Last?

Setting a fitness goal is important to keep you on track and keep your eyes forward to what you want to accomplish. The best acronym to help you figure out how to set your goals is the SMART principle. First, you want a specific goal that is clear that you can understand. Second, a measurable goal that you will know when you have accomplished it. Third this goal could be attainable for you.

I will discuss the could part below. Fourth, it should be relevant to you. Thus, you are motivated to do it. Lastly this goal should be set with some sort of time frame in mind. Especially for older adults it is important to continue setting goals to improve or maintain your fitness level. I will use an example of planning to go on a trip to hike the Grand Canyon to drive home how this way of setting goals that will last can work for you.

The More Specific Your Goal Is, The Clearer Your Know Where You Are Heading To

Making a goal to go on a hike somewhere or for a walk is not specific enough. Pick a specific place. The goal of hiking the Grand Canyon is specific. This is a specific place that you can research on how to best prepare hiking at. How many days would you hike it? How much mileage would you want to cover? You don’t to start mapping out the specific routes, a general target can work. Possibly adding that you want to do two moderate difficulty trails and two easy ones can assist you and one of difficult level can help you make the goal even more specific.

Make Sure Your Goal is Measurable, So You Can Recognise Your Progression and Achievements

The goal has to be more than go check out the Grand Canyon for a couple days. When it is set to hike specific difficulty trails of a certain number you have a goal to meet. You will know after hiking those trails that you can check off that goal. Also knowing the number of trails you want to hike and the difficulty you can decide how to decide which trails you hike on a given day. Possibly you would do the one of most difficulty on its own day. Then the following day you can do two easy trails and maybe one of moderate difficulty. Be strategic!

Even before you hit the trails you will be able to track your progress how you are training for that trip. Your cardiovascular endurance to be able to walk a longer distance will improve. Your practicing hiking trails with walking poles will increase your fitness level and also your confidence in navigating uneven terrain.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up! Goals Need To Be Attainable To Be Motivating 

Perhaps there are some mobility problems or you are recovering from a knee replacement right now. Hiking the Grand Canyon may not be attainable in a month. However, setting a goal to enjoy five of the trails of easy difficulty 9 months from now could be attainable. Make that goal high. There is an argument that the goal should be within your reach enough that you have to stretch to get it – but not so high that it is not within your reach. On the other hand if you set your goal out of reach, even if you didn’t reach it you will raise the bar! If you need to improve your balance, then give yourself an attainable date to improve it by. Set yourself up for the success of enjoying that trip and not having to focus on your feet instead of the gorgeous scenery.

Your Reason Is Your Ultimate Motivation

Finding your “why” as to why you want to achieve a goal is important. A why for this amazing hike is to improve your fitness level. Perhaps you are not motivated to just workout at home every week. You see training for this hike as a good way to spark the fire. This goal will motivate you to be more in touch with your body and raise your fitness level!

You Cannot Stay With One Goal Forever

You want to set a deadline or a date for the goal. This time aspect in this instance would largely depend upon not only your schedule but also the weather. Make sure that you are honest with yourself about how long it will take to get in the physical shape to hike all of the trails that you want to hike. You may need to make investments to assist you. Working with a Functional Aging Specialist such as myself can help you improve your balance, agility and mobility for that trip.

Also, that professional has the perspective of useful tools such as proper shoes or hiking poles that can be make the hike less painful for your knees or hips. Lastly, he or she can help you with your plan, keep you on a consistent plan and be your personal cheering section!

When SMART fitness goals don’t work

If a fitness goal is set that is solely based on numbers it can set you up for failure. For instance, the goal is to lose 10 pounds in 2 months. During this time, the focus is entirely on that magic number. That focus on weight loses the big picture of the importance of moving better. I would challenge you that the byproduct of setting a goal of finishing a 5K or hiking the Grand Canyon will still facilitate fat loss when you are sticking to it. In addition, let’s say your goal is the lift 200 pounds. You have succeeded in lifting that amount but your upper body is so tight that your posture is affected. Thus, be careful with making numbers as your goal. You don’t want to have other aspects of your health suffer to meet that number. Think of the big picture.

With that in mind when you set your fitness goals – make it a goal of a kind of test that will show how far you have physically come. Between day one and when you plan to reach your goal you have to line up the aspects of your health, wellness and fitness and make sure that your address each of them.

Your goals are yours – don’t take someone else’s. If yours is to be able to get up from the floor to standing is your goal that is a great goal. Think about the work that it would take to make that happen. As always add consulting your doctor as you are thinking about your goal or after you have decided it. Reach out to Functional Aging Specialists that understand how to work with the older population to help them train f

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10 Revolutionary Products that Make Parenting Smart And Fun

Most people who have ever lived, have, at one time found themselves fulfilling the role of a parent. You, reading this now may be a parent or will soon be one (otherwise this article might not be super interesting). Every single one of your ancestors, dating back to the beginnings of humanity has been a parent.
Yet, despite this being a parent can be incredibly difficult at times. There are countless little stresses that can make parenthood needlessly daunting and complicated.

Thankfully, there are a number of parenting products out there designed to make being a parent as stress free, smart and as fun, as possible. Here are ten handpicked by Lifehack team members who are parents too.

1. The Lalabu Dad Shirt

The Lalabu Dad shirt makes carrying your baby around town much easier and safer. Traditional baby pouches, whilst secure can be uncomfortable for both you and your baby, and needs significant adjustment as your baby grows.

This is not the case with the Lalabu shirt, it is made from comfortable, breathable fabric that adjusts to the size of your baby. Maximizing comfort and stability. Think of it like the human equivalent of the Kangaroo pouch.

On top of everything else, the shirts themselves are quite stylish, so you can dress well, and safe, at the same time.

Lalabu Dad Shirt, $75

2. Hatch Babygrow Smart Changing Pad and Scale

This smart changing pad will totally affect, and improve the way you change your baby, and keep track of their health. With it, you can get accurate and reliable information on your baby’s weight and how much it is consuming at every feeding. On top of this you can sync the data to the Hatch Baby App for your smart phone to help record this data (and keep track of your baby’s sleep patterns, nursing sessions, and more). As such, in a matter of moments you will be able to tell how well your baby is developing.

It also works as a comfortable, and easy to clean changing pad for your baby.

Hatch Babygrow Smart Changing Pad, $129.99

3. The Aspen Traveler Smart Diaper Bag

The Smart Diaper Bag is both a mobile changing station, and storage unit for your baby’s clothes, socks, and diapers. The bag is easily adaptable, and can function both as a backpack and messenger bag, ensuring that it will always be easy to carry with you.

With this bag, travelling with your baby becomes far less complicated and stressful, allowing you to focus on enjoying your time with your child.

The bag isn’t currently available but you can pre-order your own in Kickstarter now.

Smart Diaper Bag

4. Blooming Bath Lotus – Baby Bath

Bathing your baby can be a very complicated procedure. Though it is commonplace to wash your baby in a sink, they are poorly designed for the job. You have to be extremely careful to do it safely. It can also be difficult and stressful for your baby too.

The Blooming Bath Lotus changes this, by turning your sink into the perfect bathtub for your baby. Its Lotus Flower appearance is both eye-catching, and clever, each petal of the flower can be adjusted to fit your sink whatever its shape or size. Once it has been fit into your sink, it provides a comfortable and soft surface for your baby to lie on, making their bath time both fun and comfortable for them, and stress-free for you.

Blooming Bath Lotus, $39.99

5. Swaive Intelligent Ear Thermometer Baby Thermometer

The Swaive Ear Thermometer, like the previously mentioned Smart Changing Pad, can be synced to a related app allowing you to readily get accurate information about the health of your baby. Also, you can share the app and the information easily with other carers or doctors in order to make sure the health of your baby is being correctly observed.

As it is an FDA approved medical device, you can be safely assured of the accuracy and reliability of your Swaive Thermometer.

Swaive Intelligent Ear Thermometer Baby Thermometer, $19.85

6. Bloom Coco Go 3-in-1 Baby Lounger

With this product, your baby can lounge, bounce around, or rock in the seat in the highest comfort. The lounger has a vibration function, meaning your baby can have a fun time with it, without you necessarily having to be there. Your baby can be entertained for hours and later sleep soundly without moving, or having to be moved. In this sense, though it is a single item, it can function as three.

Bloom Coco Go 3-in-1 Baby Lounger, $125.00

7. Lullaby Sleep Guardian

One of the most difficult aspects of being a parent is being woken up, sometimes many times a night by your crying baby. It is extremely commonplace. On top of being an irritation, it can affect your health and your ability to be the great parent you are.

The Lullaby Sleep Guardian can help you with this, by providing a source of comfort for your baby when it experiences nightmares or night terrors. This has been proven to be one of the most effective, non medication ways to help your baby with night terrors.

It is simple in design, once you have filled in data about your baby’s sleep patterns, it will vibrate at the perfect moment to comfort your baby when it suffers. As such after only a handful of weeks, your baby, and you, will be happier, and better rested. Many pediatricians have recommended its use too.

Lully Sleep Guardian 2, $229.00

8. Flyebaby Airplane Baby Comfort System

Flying with your baby can be a very stressful experience, not just for your baby, but for you, and other passengers. You may once have flown in a plane with a loud crying baby, it is a common occurrence.

Thankfully, with the Flyebaby Airplane Baby Comfort System, this experience may become a thing of the past. It is the ideal travel companion for you and your baby, making sure your baby’s flight is as comfortable as possible from takeoff to landing.

It easily attaches to the seat in front of you on the plane and around your waist, functioning as a hammock for your baby. As such you will be able to interact face to face with your baby, giving your baby extra comfort by knowing his or her parent is close by.

It is fully FAA approved. Your baby, (and all other passengers) will thank you for it!

Flyebaby Airplane Baby Comfort System, $39.95

9. Piggyback Rider SCOUT

 

If you are a lover of the outdoors, and enjoy a good hike. You might think having a baby will make hiking impossible. Let’s face it, baby harnesses don’t seem to be designed to to suit the outdoors lifestyle and you certainly can’t take a stroller into the woods or mountains. But this isn’t the case with the Piggyback Rider SCOUT model.

Even if you don’t hike, carrying a baby in a harness for long periods of time can be damaging to your back, or can be really uncomfortable.

The Piggyback Rider SCOUT model is incredibly light weight, and is designed to comfortably transfer the weight of your baby to your shoulders. Therefore encouraging a healthier, and more natural posture as well as taking the pressure off your back. With it, you will be able to carry your baby on your back for however long you like, whatever the terrain in comfort.

Piggyback Rider SCOUT, $109.98

10. The Doodle Pillowcase

 

You may have found that your child, if they are particularly artistic, may have started drawing on walls or clothes. This can be damaging, and potentially ruinous to whatever they decide to draw on. With this pillowcase, your little one (and you!) will be able to draw, doodle, and write to their heart’s content.

Even if your child doesn’t draw on surfaces, this pillowcase can provide entertainment for you and your child as a fun, artistic activity you two can share, something that has practical use too.

They are 100% cotton, and totally machine washable. So you will be able to use it again and again.

Doodle Pillowcase,  $19.95

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Beautiful Fine Art Photography by Anka Zhuravleva Anka...





















Beautiful Fine Art Photography by Anka Zhuravleva

Anka Zhuravleva born in 1980, is a very talented artist from Moscow, Russia living and working in Porto, Portugal. In 2006, Anka discovered her inspirations from photography, which became a turning point for her to switch to capture photos using her camera and engage digital photo art and analog film photography. Since then, Anka created series of fine and inspiring photographic works.


Enjoy past photography features and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

posted by tu recepcja

Beautiful Fine Art Photography by Anka Zhuravleva Anka... crss





















Beautiful Fine Art Photography by Anka Zhuravleva

Anka Zhuravleva born in 1980, is a very talented artist from Moscow, Russia living and working in Porto, Portugal. In 2006, Anka discovered her inspirations from photography, which became a turning point for her to switch to capture photos using her camera and engage digital photo art and analog film photography. Since then, Anka created series of fine and inspiring photographic works.


Enjoy past photography features and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

posted by tu recepcja

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