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Schneider Türtscher Architekten - House renovation, Gamprin 2016. Photos © Johanna Muther.

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How to Know If You're Really in Love or Not (Yes It Can Be Confusing)

So, you’ve met a new special someone and the two of you have started a romantic relationship. You find yourself thinking about them a little more often than before and now you get those butterfly feelings in your stomach just before you’re about to see them.

Does this mean you’re in love? Or could this just be the honeymoon phase that every relationship goes through? Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if you’re really in love or not.

What Does It Mean to Be In Love?

Being in love means desiring the happiness of your partner, admiring them for the individual they are, and feeling motivated to be a better person. When you are in love, your relationship goes beyond a simple physical attraction. It is experiencing happiness at the idea of two individual and independent people choosing to share time together. If you are in love, you are driven to be compassionate, generous, and caring to your special someone.

The Signs of Being In Love

So you’re probably thinking, “that’s great, but how do I know if I’m really in love or not?” Good question. See if any of the following signs of being in love^[1] apply to you:

• You have stopped thinking about your ex. In fact, you don’t even remember the last time you thought of him/her.
• You’re happier doing mundane chores when you’re together. Washing the dishes used to be terrible, right? But not with your partner beside you to help.
• You two start making future plans together. Before, date planning only went as far ahead as the upcoming weekend. Now, you’re talking about going to see the fall leaves change colors – and it’s only July.
• You want to do things together. Yes, you have been to the zoo 20 times before. But not with your partner and you just know it would be better together.
• You automatically want to share your good and bad news with them. Got a promotion at work? You don’t even think about your best friend now, instead you shoot a text to your partner.
• You are reminded of him/her every time you’re out. “Nice shoes, John would love those.” “Awesome game, Jess would love to play that.” It just comes naturally because they’re always on your mind.
• You’ve started looking forward to the weekend just to have breakfast in bed and watch a “Seinfeld” marathon. Dancing? Clubbing? Did you ever like those things? Yes, when you were single and not in love.

“Love” is Not The Same As “In Love”

People fall in love, it’s natural and part of life’s great journey. You probably didn’t plan on it. Maybe you don’t understand why you’re in love now, but you weren’t in the past. That’s easy. It’s because you can love somebody and never truly be in love with them. Sound confusing? Don’t worry.

Loving somebody is the conscious decision you make to be together, to trust them, to care for them. You can love your friends, you can love your family, maybe you even loved your ex. But, you can’t (or weren’t) in love with those people. That’s a completely different feeling. There’s a reason you aren’t in a romantic relationship with one of your best friends.

To be in love with somebody is wanting to share your thoughts and feeling with them, feeling safe in their arms, hoping to make them happy, and thinking of them everywhere you go.^[2]

Who Cares if I’m in Love or Not?

What kind of question is that?! Who cares if you’re in love or not? You should care! Every time your heart races when the phone rings, each time you catch yourself daydreaming of a future together – these are the reasons to care if you’re in love or not.

Instead of wondering all of time, or waiting for them to confess their feelings, you should try to figure out the answer to this question. If you don’t, you could risk losing the very person you’re supposed to be with. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity of being in love and knowing it.

How Can You Know Whether the Feelings are Mutual?

After you figure out if you’re in love with your partner or not, you probably want to know if they feel the same way. Maybe you’re at the point in your relationship where you’re trying to figure out if it’s the right time to say those magic words – “I love you.” Well, there are some signs you can look for to determine if the feelings are mutual or not.^[3]

Pay Attention to Their Words

If your partner starts talking about a future together, that’s a surefire way to know they’re probably also in love with you. If they see you in their future, it’s because they want you there.

What about the way they talk to you? Does your partner mention very specific things about your personality that they love? Things like, “I love the way I feel when we’re together.” and “You always know how to make me feel good.” are pretty big indicators that they’re probably in love.

Pay Attention to Their Actions

You know the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” It’s the truth. So, what are their actions telling you?

Is your partner always there for you when you need support? Do they always listen to whatever you have to say, even if you’re just complaining about your boss for the thousandth time? If they take care of you when you’re feeling bad, bring you your favorite takeout just because, or come over with a movie – chances are, they’re in love with you, too. People who are in love with each other make an effort to spend time together and be supportive of each other.

Pay Attention to How They Act Around You

This is more than paying attention to their actions. This is paying attention to the way they hold themselves around you. Does it feel natural or fake?

Somebody who’s in love in happy to see their partner, smiles at them, makes eye contact, and reaches out for a much needed hug. If seeing you doesn’t make them seem more energetic or excited, they might not be in love. That’s because being near the people we’re in love with changes our behavior. We’re suddenly happier and just feel better. That feeling should shine through.

Armed with this information, you should be able to answer that question that’s been nagging at you for days. Are you really in love? And, is your partner really in love with you, too?

Reference

[1]	^	Cosmopolitan: 19 Signs You’re Falling in Love
[2]	^	EliteDaily: Difference Between Loving Someone and Being in Love
[3]	^	VixenDaily: 3 Ways to Find Out Whether Someone Truly Loves You

The post How to Know If You’re Really in Love or Not (Yes It Can Be Confusing) appeared first on Lifehack.

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Why Should You Choose Fenugreek over Other Seeds?

Fenugreek is a herb you might not have heard of if you don’t do a lot of cooking or aren’t from the parts of the world where it is commonly used (or a breastfeeding mom). But you’ve tasted fenugreek if you’ve ever had artificial maple syrup, and you’ve probably had it in your favorite Chinese, Indian or Mediterranean food.

What is Fenugreek?

The plant fenugreek is an annual from the family Fabacaea (which includes peas and legumes). The plant has clusters of three oval leaves.

The leaves can be used as an herb, and it is eaten like a vegetable or in salads in India and elsewhere. The seeds are also used as a spice, and many of the medicinal preparations using fenugreek involve the seeds.

What Does it Taste Like?

As you might imagine from its common use, fenugreek tastes a little like maple syrup. It is a sweet-tasting herb that combines well with the spicier flavors enjoyed in Indian and Middle Eastern cuisines. The seeds have a bit of a bitter taste that is made milder through cooking.

Fenugreek is often one of the spices in Chinese five spice powder (along with anise or corriander, Szechuan or black peppercorns, cinnamon and cloves) and is used in curry powder as well.

Nutrition Profile

• Fiber: 3 grams
• Protein: 3 grams
• Carbs: 6 grams
• Fat: 1 gram
• Iron: 20% of your daily requirements
• Manganese: 7% of your daily requirements
• Magnesium: 5% of your daily requirements

Health Benefits of Fenugreek

1. It increases breastmilk supply

If you’re a mom you might have heard that one of the health benefits of fenugreek is boosting milk production. Many breastfeeding moms drink tea or take supplements that include fenugreek as a galactagogue (that’s a fancy word for something that increases milk supply).

Some studies have been done on the use of fenugreek among new moms, but results have been mixed. Talk to your lactation consultant about dosing if you want to try it. Doses of more than 3,500 mg a day are not uncommon; you’ll know you’re getting enough when your urine starts to smell like maple syrup. You may see a result within a couple of days to a couple of weeks.

2. It reduces inflammation

But there are a lot of other benefits of consuming this herb regularly. Fenugreek is said to be antimicrobial and antioxidant, and it can reduce inflammation in the body. Inflammation can lead to all sorts of health problems, from depression to heart disease and arthritis.

3. It helps with your digestive system as well

It is considered an appetite stimulant and can be taken for gastrointestinal problems such as an upset stomach, constipation and gastritis. It has also been used to treat diabetes because it seems to be able to slow absorption of sugar in the stomach and boost insulin production. It might also be helpful for people with high cholesterol.

4. It serves as an aid for both men and women’s reproductive system

Women might also see a benefit from taking the herb when they suffer from painful menstruations or polycystic ovary syndrome. Men could use it to treat erectile dysfunction and male infertility, among many other uses.

Dangers of Using Fenugreek

Fenugreek sprouts were determined to be the cause of an E.coli outbreak in Germany and France in 2011. The herb and its seeds are generally safe, but they could interfere with blood-clotting drugs.

Because fenugreek is part of the legume family, people who have peanut allergies or other legume allergies may have a reaction to this herb.

In large doses it can also cause diarrhea and stomach upset. Always check with a doctor before consuming an herb or seed medicinally, especially if you are pregnant or nursing.

Fenugreek Recipes

If you’d like to experiment with fenugreek in cooking, there are lots of ways to try it. Don’t be intimidated by the long ingredients lists on some of these recipes – spice blends often have a lot of components but are easy to put together.

1. Methi Chicken Recipe

If you want to try a dish using fresh fenugreek leaves, try this methi murgh recipe from the Daily Meal. Check Asian markets for the fresh leaves.

2. Wild Mushroom Biryani

The recipe from the Daily Meal calls for dried fenugreek leaves.

3. Makhani Chicken

Indian butter chicken is another classic dish that uses dried leaves, as in this recipe from All Recipes.

4. Mothers’ Milk Tea

Help a new mom by brewing up some mothers’ milk tea , which includes fenugreek seeds as a main ingredient. Get the recipe from the Kitchn.

5. Spiced Cauliflower with Toasted Coconut and Red Lentils

A great side dish using fenugreek seeds is the spiced cauliflower with toasted coconut and red lentils from the BBC. This recipe has a lot of parts, but you could just make the cauliflower for a taste of fenugreek without all the work.

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What Is Hypomania? Is It Similar to Mania?

If you’ve heard of mania, you might be wondering what hypomania is. Are the two the same? Is one more severe than the other? What are the treatment options?

When dealing with mental health, it’s important to have a clear understanding of different terms and exactly what they mean.

This article will shed some light on the key differences between mania and hypomania. Knowing how the two differ will help you to feel more informed, whether you’re the person suffering from hypomania, or you’re supporting a loved one during an episode.

What is hypomania?

Hypomania and mania are similar in many ways – they’re both periods of high-energy, excitability and overactivity that seriously impact your day to day life. ^[1]

However, there are a few key differences, which are listed below:

• Mania lasts for a week or more, while hypomania lasts for a few days.
• The symptoms of hypomania are less severe than the symptoms of mania.
• Mania has a severe negative impact on your day-to-day activities. Hypomania is usually less disruptive.

How to identify a hypomanic episode

Identifying a hypomanic episode can be difficult, especially if mania isn’t something you have much experience with.

For someone to be diagnosed with hypomania, they should have experienced at least three of the following symptoms for several days. The symptoms will be persistent – not just passing feelings. ^[2].

• Increased self-esteem
• Decreased need for sleep, lots of energy after very little rest
• Speaking more than usual, or speaking in a very fast/excitable way
• Racing thoughts
• Getting distracted very easily
• Becoming more goal-oriented than usual and wanting to get lots done
• Doing things without regard for the consequences (e.g. unprotected sex, gambling, excessive spending)

While a hypomanic episode shouldn’t result in a serious disruption to the person’s everyday life, it will be clearly noticeable by friends and family.

For example, you might notice that a usually shy friend is suddenly very chatty and sociable, or a relative who usually procrastinates becomes extremely focused on goals, staying up all night to get things done.

Being able to clearly identify a hypomanic episode is really important, as it allows the person experiencing the episode to access the help and support they may need.

What is the difference between mania and hypomania?

We’ve already listed a few key differences between mania and hypomania, but the examples below offer a more in-depth comparison.

Example #1

Hypomania: You might feel happy and excited, with lots of ideas.

Mania: You might believe you have special powers, are on a secret mission, or can see things other people can’t.

Example #2

Hypomania: You might be behave in a more flirtatious way than usual.

Mania: You might have unprotected sex or cheat on a long-term partner.

Example #3

Hypomania: You might have heightened awareness – colours could appear brighter and bolder, or sounds might seem louder.

Mania: You might experience psychosis, hearing voices or seeing things that other people can’t.

Example #4

Hypomania: You notice that you feel different to usual.

Mania: You don’t notice any difference in the way you’re feeling or behaving, and don’t see any cause for concern.

Knowing the difference between mania and hypomania will help you to fully understand what’s going on.

What causes hypomania?

There are many factors which contribute to hypomania. Hypomanic episodes can be a symptom of certain mood disorders, like bipolar disorder, but that isn’t always the case.

Listed below are some possible causes of hypomania:

• Extreme stress or a big life change (e.g. moving house, leaving a job).
• Change of season – for some people, hypomania happens only during a certain time of the year, like spring.
• Alcohol or drug use/drug addiction.
• Lack of sleep or changes to sleeping pattern (e.g. Starting to work night shifts).
• Giving birth – some women experience hypomania as part of postpartum psychosis.
• Taking medication – hypomania can be a side effect of certain prescribed drugs, like antidepressants.
• Physical illness – some illnesses and conditions can trigger hypomania.

How is hypomania treated?

Mania and hypomania are treated in a variety of ways. One option is medication, and there are a number of antipsychotic drugs that your doctor may prescribe. These include haloperidol, olanzapine, quetiapine and risperidone. ^[3] It may take some trial and error to find the drug that works best for you. In rare cases, when other treatments have failed, your doctor may recommend electroconvulsive therapy.

You may also be offered talking therapy to help you to better understand hypomania and how to manage it. You’ll learn healthy coping strategies, ways to reduce the risk of a hypomanic episode, as well as having a chance to discuss your feelings.

Hypomania can be scary and confusing. Being fully informed will help you to deal with hypomanic episodes as effectively as possible.

Reference

[1]	^	Psychology Today: Hypomania and mania
[2]	^	Psych Central: Hypomanic Episode Symptoms
[3]	^	NICE: Bipolar disorder: assessment and management

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