10 Best Sites That Offer Gorgeous Free Images for Blogs

In our modern world, everything seems to move at hyper-speed. Most people decide whether they will keep reading something within just a few seconds. To keep readers’ attention on your blog, one of the best way is to use eye-catching visuals. A study conducted by Hubspot revealed that “photos on Facebook Pages received 53% more Likes than the average post“^[1] The same study also found that “photo posts attracted 104% more comments than the average post.” If you want to keep your readers’ engaged and attract new readers to your blog, the answer is simple: add more high quality visual content. The following are some great sites that offer free images for blogs.

Pixabay

Pixabay is one of the largest and most comprehensive photos sites on our list. They offer almost one million free photos from subjects as diverse as fresh asparagus and mountain goats to stunning cityscapes and portraits. All photos on the site are completely free and you are not required to credit the source in any way. Pixabay is one of the best resources for grabbing awesome photos in a short amount of time. Their search feature allows you to filter results based on your exact needs.

Unsplash

Unsplash is another great resource for free images for blogs. When you scroll through their site, you see only one photo at a time, which can be less overwhelming. They also have a search feature so that you can find specific subjects. If you don’t find what you are looking for on Pixabay, Unsplash may have just what you need. They also add new photos regularly and have a section where you can view the most recently added photos.

Foodies Feed

This site is amazing for everything food related. While some of the photos can be downloaded and used for free, this site also offers something called Foodiesfeed premium. After paying a one time fee, you have access to hundreds more photos, conveniently organized by type of food, holiday, or country of origin. If you regularly write about topics related to food, cooking, or restaurant dining, Foodiesfeed provides high quality images to pair with your posts.

Photogen

This site varies somewhat on the quality of their photos. However, you can search for photos based on simple categories and all photos are free with no attribution required. Their photos also have more of a unique, local feel than some of the other stock photography sites. If you need a specific image, but don’t want it to look like a professional photographer staged the shot, this could be a great site to use.

Skitterphoto

From delicious-looking sushi to adorable newborn puppies, skitterphoto offers an impressive variety of public domain images. They offer a range of quality, from amateur to professional looking photographs. You are also able to see how many times each photo has been viewed and downloaded, so you have any idea how many other sites are using that photo. This feature is useful if you want to find a photo that will make your site more unique.

Freeimages

Although the name implies all images are free, the site actually offers many different types of photos with different rates and attributions. This site is helpful if you need different types of quality in your photos. For example, you may want several basic photos that you don’t want to spend money to get. Then, you may need one or two extra high quality or rare images. This site allows you to browse and satisfy all your photo needs in one place.

Flickr

Flickr is another site with an overwhelming quantity of photos – in a good way. According to their homepage, flickr currently boasts 13 billion photos. Not all of these, however, are available for public use. If you want to find free, no attribution photos all you need to do is search for photos that have the creative commons license. Since most of the photos on this site are not free for public use, it’s important that you search correctly and check each photo for any necessary attributions.

Public Domain Pictures

The photos on this site are conveniently categorized and the site lets you filter results further by popularity, rating, and date. Most photos are available for free download at moderate sizes. If you need larger file sizes, you can download the premium version for a low fee, usually $.05-$.10. Under the “professional photos” section, the site features photos from other stock photography websites, so you can easily access a broad range of photos all from one place.

Ancestryimages

If you are looking for specific historical images, ancestry images is a great place to start. This site is different than the others mentioned so far, because it does not include general stock photography. Instead, the site focuses on highly specific historical documents like antique maps and decorative prints. If you need an image of an engraving from the mid 1800s or a three hundred year old map of China, ancestry images is the place to go!

Rgbstock

Rgbstock is more than just a stock photography site. Contributors to the site include graphic designers and other artists as well as photographers. As a result, the site has a higher ratio of graphics and abstract art than the other sites mentioned. The site does require you to register, but registration is completely free. Rgbstock is a great resource for blogs that need a lot of graphics or abstract images, in addition to more typical stock photography.

Reference

[1]

^

Hubspot: Photos on Facebook Generate 53% More Likes than the Average Post

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You Won't Want To Miss The Amazing Health Benefits This Green Powder Offers!

Eating healthy is not only important for keeping us fit, but many body functions can greatly benefit from it, as healthy food improves your mood, gives you more energy, and helps you fight various diseases. But taking care of your health doesn’t just mean reducing the amount of junk food you eat and being more physically active – it is important to consume the food that nourishes our body and keeps it healthy.

Superfoods are those types of food that are rich in various nutrients, such as vitamins, minerals and healthy fats that help our organism fight vicious diseases and prolong our life span. One of the most famous superfoods are blueberries known for their vitamins. Spirulina, possibly one of the oldest life forms on Earth and a plant that has between 50 and 70% protein, has become one of the most popular superfoods.

What exactly is Spirulina?

How’s spirulina looks like in powder form.

We are mostly used to seeing spirulina in a form of a powder or as a capsule, but have you ever wondered what it is exactly? It is actually a blue-green algae that has been around for a very long time, but people have recently started being aware of its numerous benefits such as the ability to boost your energy, strengthen your immune system, balance pH levels and improve your digestion. It is rich in many amino acids essential for our body, and it can be a great source of iron, B and K vitamins, calcium and magnesium. And as already mentioned, it has more protein than certain types of meat and fish.

Where can Spirulina be found in nature?

Spirulina in the form of algae grows in freshwater lakes, rivers and ponds as well. It prefers lots of sunlight with moderate temperatures and clean water. Wild form of spirulina can be found in Mexico and in Africa, but due to its rise in popularity it is commercially grown worldwide.

Spirulina is very rich in nutrients

The reasons spirulina is so beneficial for our health are obvious if we take a look at nutrients contained in spirulina. With the range of vitamins such as vitamin A, B6, B12, C, E, K and minerals such as calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorus and potassium, spirulina represents a healthy source of essential vitamins and minerals our body needs. Together with Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids and the high amount of proteins, spirulina is a real immunity booster bomb.

It is rich in proteins

Spirulina contains from 50-70% proteins which have all the necessary amino acids and are highly digestible. It can be a great source of protein for people who don’t consume meat. One cup of spirulina (112 grams) contain s around 64 grams of protein, which is a little more protein than we need in a day – recommended daily intake for women is 46 grams, and 56 grams for men.

It is rich in B12

The lack of vitamin B12 can cause anemia, fatigue and depression, thus it is important to have enough of this vitamin in our organism. B12 is commonly found in foods such as different types of meat, eggs and cheese, and less commonly in plant foods. One of the exceptions is spirulina which is high in vitamin B12 and as such a great source of this vitamin for vegans.

It contains Gamma Linolenic Acid (GLA) and Omega-3s

Both gamma linolenic acid omega-3 acid have numerous health benefits, such as reducing inflammation, helping with skin conditions, high cholesterol, heart disease, nerve pain, depression, asthma and so on. Spiruilna is a natural source of these acids, and considering the fact that GLA is rarely found in food sources, this makes spirulina that more valuable.

Benefits of Spirulina

An overview of the nutrition content of Spirulina

It is difficult to list all the benefits you can feel when consuming spirulina, thus we’ll try to list the most important ones.

1. Spirulina balances blood sugar There are a number of studies conducted on animals indicating that spirulina is as effective as some diabetes medication, if not more effective, in helping to control blood sugar levels. Another study conducted on 25 people suffering from type 2 diabetes further confirms how beneficial spirulina is in balancing blood sugar.

2. Spirulina helps with allergies If you are suffering from allergies and experience symptoms such as nasal discharge, sneezing, nasal congestion and itching, spirulina will help you relieve those symptoms, as it has been proven it is effective o n allergic rhinitis.

3. Spirulina helps fight oral cancer Evidence suggest that spirulina may be successful in helping people fight cancer, and it has been studied in relation to oral cancer. In a study conducted on 87 people with precancerous lesions in the mouth, 45% of the group consuming 1 gram per day during one year saw complete regression of lesions.

4. Spirulina improves muscle strength and endurance In order to prevent muscle fatigue and injuries when exercising or engaging in physically demanding activities, you need to consume foods with antioxidant properties and spirulina is very rich in antioxidants. Furthermore, studies have shown that spirulina can have preventative effects on muscle damage and increase exercise performance.

5. Spirulina helps regulate blood pressure According to a study conducte d in Mexico, taking 4.5 grams of spirulina per day reduces high blood pressure both in men and women.

6. Spirulina helps regulate cholesterol Higher cholesterol means you are at risk for heart diseases. Luckily, there are natural ways to lower cholesterol, such as consuming spirulina. A study conduc ted on 78 elderly males and females, where they consumed 8 grams of spirulina per day during 16 weeks, showed significant reduction in cholesterol levels.

7. Spirulina helps fight anemia Anemia is characterized by a deficiency or red cells and hemoglobin, and it causes fatigue. 40 elderly people suffering from anemia were subjects to a study which proved that the consumption of spirulina increased hemoglobin content in blood.

8. Spirulina helps weight loss As spirulina contains high amounts of proteins, it may satisfy your hunger and lead to fat burning. Its benefits are obvious in long term and are much more effective than short term diets, as this study suggest.

9. Spirulina helps eliminate candida If pH balance in our bodies is for some reason disturbed, it can cause candida to grow, thus causing many problems, such as leaky gut syndrome. Several animal studies indicate that spirulina is effective in inhibiting uncontrollable growth of candida.

10. Spirulina helps in protecting the brain Spirulina can help you improve your focus and concentration, but it may also prevent degenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson diseases due to its antioxidant properties, as one study show s.

Are there any side effects to spirulina?

There are no know side effects, yet you should buy high quality spirulina and only from trusted sources. In addition, women who breastfeed and people with auto-immune diseases should better stay away from consuming spirulina.

Should you choose tablets or powder?

See if you want to take it directly or mix it with something else!

Both tablets and powder have its pros and cons. As tablets are a more compact in form, they might not be fully digested, therefore your body won’t absorb all the nutrients. Spirulina tablets may also contain some fillers or binding agents that are also hard to process. However, they have longer shelf life, and they are more practical as you can carry them around and consume them easily.

On the other hand, powder is more easily and more quickly absorbed. Yet if you consume it with foods that your body has difficulty processing, it would also be hard to absorb spirulina’s nutrients completely. But, you can mix spirulina powder into almost any food: juices, smoothies, and even bread and salad dressings.

Whichever you opt for, it is important to use it on the daily basis.

How much you should take every day?

For children under the ages of 18, the best practice is to always consult your doctor if it safe to give them spirulina. As for adults, the standard dose is 500mg per day (or 4-6 tablets), yet it is advisable to consult your doctor or a healthcare professional for the recommended dose.

For women who are pregnant or breastfeeding, it is better to avoid consuming or to consult the doctor. Moreover, people with a condition phenylketonuria and people with auto-immune diseases are advised not to consume spirulina.

It is important to note that spirulina in itself won’t be fully beneficial if you don’t change your dietary habits. You cannot expect good results if you take spirulina and eat fast food, for example. To have the best possible results, your diet needs to be balanced as well.

How to make spirulina taste great?

Some people might find spirulina’s taste unusual and strange, so we are giving you some great recipes that are delicious. Hope you like green color, because spirulina will turn all your food green!

Spirulina smoothie

What you need:

– 1 banana

– ½ avocado

– a squeeze of fresh lemon juice

– a little bit of cinnamon

– 1 teaspoon of spirulina

– 1 cup of nut milk

Preparation:

Put all ingredients into a blender and mix.

Spirulina berries smoothie

What you need:

– 1 or 2 cups of non-sweet full fat coconut milk

– 1 cup of frozen berries

– ½ frozen banana

– 2 teaspoons of spirulina

– ½ handful spinach

– ½ handful kale

Preparation:

Put all ingredients into a blender and mix. Pour into a bowl and put some fresh berries or other favorite toppings.

Spirulina bites

What you need:

– 1 cup grinded seed mix

– 10 dates without pits

– 1/3 cup almond butter

– 1-2 teaspoons of spirulina

– 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

– a pinch of salt

Preparation:

Mix dates and seeds in a large bowl. Add other ingredients and mix again until you get a sticky mixture. Dive the mixture and roll into 10 balls. Keep for 2-3 days in a refrigerator.

Spirulina ice-cream

What you need:

– 2 frozen bananas

– 1 teaspoon of spirulina

Preparation:

Put bananas in blender and mix them, then add spirulina, mix again and serve.

Spirulina mango pudding

What you need:

– 3 cups of chopped mango

– zest from 1 lemon

– 1 teaspoon of spirulina

Preparation:

Put all ingredients in a blender and mix until it’s smooth. If it’s not sweet enough for you, you can add honey or stevia.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/ via pixabay.com

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Feeling Bored at Work? The Causes You May Not Know and How to Cure The Boredom

It’s Monday again.

The annoying alarm breaks the piece of silence you are enjoying. You keep pressing snooze and don’t want to leave your bed. As the hour hand points to 8, every muscle in your body feels sore.

You arrive your office and turn on the computer at your seat. Everything seems so normal, except your mind wanders…

If this sounds familiar to you, chances are you feel bored at work, and you are probably here to look for ways to get rid of this dreadful situation.

Before I get to the solutions, here are 6 reasons why you feel bored at work.

Boredom Reveals The Potential Problems You Have at Work

There’s a mismatch between your interest and your work

It’s very common that our work doesn’t match our interest, but we might not realize it sometimes. It’s good for you to think about why you applied for this job at the first place:

Because the salary was attractive? Or you had no other options but this job interview? Or you just wanted a new environment?

If these are your major concerns, you need to reconsider your interests in this job.

You are not using your capabilities fully

Everyone has their strengths and talents. When your capabilities are not fully utilized at your job, you may find the assigned tasks not challenging at all. Worse still, you may start to question your value in your company and gradually lose motivation at work.

You have little opportunity for growth and learning

Imagine you do the same tasks for two weeks, or two months, or two years, over and over. How would you feel? I’m sure you’ll be bored to death.

If your company doesn’t provide enough opportunities to grow and learn, and you can’t see any improvement, you will start to get disappointed and probably feel bored at your job.

You have too much idle time

It’s important to take breaks at work. But when you are too free, it is a problem. When you have too much idle time, your mind wanders off to somewhere else: thinking about where to eat, your relationship problems, or what your neighbor said this morning. Although your mind is occupied, these thoughts are generated because you are bored.

You feel exhausted and tired

You have so many goals to achieve in life, or things to manage beyond work. It’s easy to shift your attention and energy away from your work, because you are too occupied with other parts of your life. While you pay less effort at work, the less motivated and interested you are in your job, which in turn bores you even more.

You don’t have a clear goal

People who have stayed in a position for a long time easily feel lost. You start to get confused with what you want to obtain from the job. You get used to your repeating daily routine and gradually lose your passion and interests in your job.

Don’t Ignore Your Boredom, It Might Take a Toll on You

You might think it’s okay to deal with your boredom later, but the longer you put this problem on hold, the more consequences you will face.

Higher Stress Pressure. A number of readers of Stress Relief Workshop commented,

• Boring jobs can be really stressful.
• Feeling like your skills are going to waste in your current job can be stressful.

Develop Bad Habits. Experts reckon people relieve their boredom by drinking alcohol, indulging in unhealthy food, or carrying out risky actions at work. When you leave your problem unsolved, you might find stimulation elsewhere to override your boredom.

Poor Mental Health. A study^[1] shows an upsetting fact young adults or fresh graduates may develop depressions or black moods, because they “find themselves having to do work that doesn’t stretch them and keep them fulfilled.”

Low Productivity. Like I mentioned before, when you are bored and uninterested in what you do, your productivity drops drastically.

Boredom Won’t Go Away Unless You Take These 6 Actions

It sounds scary when you don’t deal with your boredom, but fortunately, here are also 6 ways you can change the situation.

Tell your boss or supervisor about your working situation

It’s always good for you to talk to your boss or supervisor if they welcome feedback. They should be the right people to talk to as they can understand and help you. You can request for more challenging tasks or work that fit your interests. This can not only get you out from boredom, your boss will also appreciate your willingness to improve and learn.

Try to do more than you are expected to

To use your ability and time fully, try to do more than what your boss requires. After you finish the repetitive or unchallenging tasks, spend some time to take on tasks that are beyond your responsibilities. As time goes by, your boss will notice and recognize your work ethic. You may get interesting tasks in the future to keep you going!

Learn new skills when you are free

If you have too much downtime, expand your knowledge and learn something new. A well-equipped person is always the gem in a boss’s eyes.

For example, if you work in the design team but you are not familiar with the use of design software, it’s a good chance for you to have some self-learning time.

Know what you want from your job

This is important — when you know your goal, it can motivate you to work! It’s fine to take some time to discover XXX. But please remember to jot it down on a note and stick it on your desk as a reminder.

Take breaks to fight exhaustion

A rest is a preparatory step for a longer journey ahead. Don’t ever hesitate to take a break. You need it! It’s crucial for you if you want to achieve more. Just get back to work when you feel ready. Don’t underestimate the power of a short break!

Quit your job if it’s holding you back!

If you still find your work boring, after trying every single method above, you should consider quitting your current job. Opportunities are everywhere,there may be a better job waiting for you. Make a change in your life and treat yourself better!

Featured photo credit: officevibe via officevibe.com

Reference

[1]

^

Sunday Post: Being bored at work is bad for your health

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How I Rewired My Brain to Think Like a Designer and Unlock My Creativity

Design is not a subject confined to the creative industry. In fact, it is something that we all might want to learn.

According to a 2014 assessment conducted by the Design Management Institute, design-led companies have maintained significant stock market advantage over the last 10 years, outperforming the S&P by an extraordinary 228%. ^[1] These companies include Apple, Coca Cola, Nike, Procter & Gamble, Starbucks, Walt Disney, etc.

Amazed by the remarkable success of these companies, many entrepreneurs want to learn how to think like a designer and apply the design principles to their work so that they can have a big success.

But design thinking is not only useful for entrepreneurs. It is also useful for ordinary people like you and me. Design thinking contributes to both business success and individual success, as it helps unlock your creativity and break away from the chain of traditions.

What Is Design Thinking? It’s About Creative Problem Solving

Design thinking is a concept defined and popularized by Rolf Faste in the 1980s. It is a problem-solving practice which attempts to actualize your concepts and ideas and to create a practical yet creative resolution of issues. Unlike the conventional problem-focused one, a design mindset is solution-focused and action-oriented. It explores different possibilities to bring out the most desirable outcomes.

As a human-centered innovation, design thinking shows understanding to the people affected or served by your ideas. The aim is to cater users’ unmet or unarticulated needs by a deep knowledge of customers and their problems. This increases the chance of success when implementing your ideas.

5 Things You Should Know to Think Like a Designer

A design thinking process can be divided into five stages: empathize, define, ideate, prototype and test.

1. Empathize

The first stage of a design thinking process is to understand the problem in an empathic perspective. Design thinking is a human-centered design process so empathy plays an important role in it. Instead of making assumptions, immersing yourself in the environment to have a deeper personal understanding of the problems involved is rather crucial. In other words, design thinkers should always put themselves into others’ shoes.

2. Define

The information you gathered during the Empathize stage should be used in the Define stage to define the core problem as a problem statement in a human-centered manner.

To put it simply, you should define the problem from the perspective of your customers or whoever you serve, instead of from the perspective of a provider.

For example, instead of saying ‘we need to increase our page view by 10%’, it is better to define the problem statement as ‘readers need some high-quality content’. This is how design thinking values the unmet needs of customers.

3. Ideate

When everything is ready, designers can start generating ideas to solve the problem. The most important part of it is to think outside the box. You should try to identify new solutions and view the problem in alternative ways.

Possible ideation techniques include brainstorm and worst possible idea. They are ideal to stimulate free thinking and to expand the problem space. You should try to get as many ideas or solutions as possible at the beginning and then consider their feasibilities to come up with the best way to solve the problem.

4. Prototype

The Prototype stage is an experimental phase. The idea is to produce a number of scaled down versions of the product to be shared and tested within the team or outside the team.

Through such kind of experiment, the team will be able to identify the best possible solutions. The solutions are investigated one-by-one and they are either accepted, improved and re-examined, or rejected according to the feedback from the users.

At the end of the stage, the designers will have a clearer picture of how real users behave and think when they interact with the product.

5. Test

The final stage of design thinking is to rigorously test the complete product using the best solutions identified during the previous stage.

Design thinking is never a linear process. In practice, tests often inspire new ideas for the project. The information collected from the testing phase is often used to redefine problems and inform the understanding of the users. So the final stage does not really mean the finale.

Design Thinking Makes You a Better Achiever

The above description is perhaps illustrated from a business perspective. But how can ordinary people like you and me include design thinking in our daily life?

Case 1: Design thinking helps you perform better at work

Let’s say you want to boost your productivity at work.

First, you should ask yourself why this bothers you. Perhaps your low productivity makes you feel exhausted at work.

When you try to define your problem, explore if there’re other possibilities for causing the your problem. It not, define your core problem. Maybe you find yourself hard to stay focused.

Then, it’s time to explore solutions. Brainstorm and research for all the possible solutions. Maybe you should take some breaks during work, or maybe you should turn off any devices that would cause distraction. Try them out one by one and choose the best to be tested. At last, you will find the best way to solve the problem.

Case 2: Design thinking helps you achieve a personal goal

What if it’s a personal goal? Yes, design thinking works for a personal goal too. And it has helped me to overcome workout laziness.

I am one of those who are lazy to go to gym. At the first stage, I ask myself, ‘What would going to gym really do for you?’ As a sport enthusiast, I want to perform better by strengthening my muscles.

The answer is not surprising. But what is the problem? I finally find that the excuse I give to myself every time is quite similar: it’s too rush to do it before work, or it’s too tiring to do it after work. So I come up with the problem statement, ‘I need to find a suitable time-slot for gym’.

Then I try to think of different available options: before work, during lunch break, after work, in the weekend, and so on. In the following stage, I try all the possible solutions one by one. At last, I choose to the best options and see if it works. It turns out that this really works for me!

So obviously design thinking is not only an approach for us to create success in business but it also helps us to solve problems in our daily life! Remember the five stages of design thinking and follow it next time!

Reference

[1]

^

Design Management Institute: Design-driven companies outperform S&P by 228% over ten years – the ‘DMI Design Value Index’

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What Is Love and What Is Not

Love is a 4-letter word that has probably crossed your mind one time or another. It either strikes fear in the hearts of some or motivates others. Its existence and meaning has been a topic of discussion and debate for centuries. Just what is love?

This age-old question has been asked by everyone from love-struck teens to romantic poets and philosophers to curious scientists. Guess what? We have the answer to the “what is love” question. And the answer is….. (drumroll please)…..

It depends on your perspective. Let’s look at a few first:

Different Definitions of Love

From a Romantic’s Perspective: Love Is Perfect

What is love to you? Do you think it should be easy with no disagreements, ever? Or maybe you think that romantic partners should always just understand each other? If this is your idea of love, you might be a romantic at heart.

I hate to break it to you, but true love at first sight is unlikely. It actually takes work to maintain that feeling. According to Sally Connolly, a relationship therapist with 30 years of experience, insisting on the idea of perfect love can actually make your relationship pretty unhealthy.^[1]

From a Scientist’s Perspective: Love Is About Our Sense of Smell

If you’re a more analytically- oriented person, you might believe that love is related to biology. This idea about what is love, is actually backed up by scientific evidence. Researchers at the Swiss University of Bern have conducted research on the connection between our sense of smell and our attraction to another person. They discovered that major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes in human DNA may cause us to feel love for another person.^[2]

From a Realistic Person’s Perspective: Love Is Like the Ocean

A realistic perspective of love is to know that love is like the ocean, full of ever-changing waves and tides. Feeling this way about love is having a more balanced and normal definition of this elusive emotion. Understanding that question about what is love exactly, isn’t easy. Love takes hard work, which in the long run, will prepare you for a healthier, more fulfilling, and longer lasting relationship.

What is Love Not?

While the definition of love might depend on your perspective, there are some very clear things that are definitely not love. What is love not? Take a look:

Infatuation VS Love

Infatuation is that feeling we have at the beginning of a relationship. The love that keeps us awake at night, distracts us during the day, and makes us feel exhilarated – that love, is actually infatuation. Because this is what you feel while falling in love with somebody, it’s easy to mistake infatuation for love. Being infatuated, instead of actually in love is a trap all too many of us fall into time and time again.^[3] You ask yourself, “what is love?” and then convince yourself it must be this feeling. If that is what you believe, the first time your relationship is challenged, it isn’t likely to survive. Real love, however, is long lasting.

Lust VS Love

It’s possible to confuse love for lust, but the 2 are not the same. How can you tell the difference? Well, if you’re more interested in the bedroom than conversation, or you’re focused on your partner’s looks, or you don’t like to sleep over after intimacy – you’re probably feeling lust rather than love.^[4] This can be an easy trap to fall into because it’s our natural response to always hope for the best and sometimes we do so much hoping that we end up convincing ourselves of something that simply isn’t true. It’s always easy to ignore when something isn’t quite right about a relationship, because saying goodbye to people you care about is just too difficult. Responding to “what is love” with lust, can get you caught up in a fantasy relationship instead of letting you find the real thing.

Friendship VS Love

Friendship and love often feel similar, which can be confusing. This is because we can feel love for a friend or feel like our romantic partner is also our friend. It’s easy to mistake friendship for love because we often spend so much time with our friends that we can’t imagine a life without them by our sides. This, of course, is the same feeling we have about our significant others. The lines can sometimes be blurry. So, if you’re feeling confused about your relationship with somebody, try focusing on your chemistry, level of intimacy, and intensity of your feelings. Generally speaking, the more intense your feelings about another person, the more likely it is that you are actually in love rather than in a friendship.^[5]

Emotionally Dependent VS Love

Sometimes we might think we’re in love, but it’s actually an emotional dependency. How can you tell? Well, there are a couple questions you can ask yourself. Do you tend to idealize your partner? Or do you have a deep fear of losing them? Or is the way they treat you more important to you than who your partner is? If you answered yes to these questions, you might actually be in an emotionally dependent relationship, which is not love.^[6] If you discover that you are really experiencing emotional dependency instead of love, don’t be hard on yourself. It’s easy to become emotionally dependent. A lot of the traits of emotional dependency, like idealizing your partner and being afraid of losing them, are normal. These feelings are even expected in romantic relationships, but sometimes we can take it too far. Remember, you are your own person and so is your partner. Love lets us be who we are.

What is Love?

Ok, so now we know what love is not. But, that still leaves the unanswered question: What is love? Love is intangible, independent, universal, caring, unpredictable, and natural. It is far from perfect and gives us the flexibility to experience all of the other emotions, including: anger, fear, grief, and pain^[7] Love isn’t something we can go out and buy, something we can hand out as a reward for a job well done, nor is a something we can count. Most importantly, love is something that is given freely without prior conditions put in place. Understanding these things is the first step toward finding true love.

Featured photo credit: ANAMORPHOSIS AND ISOLATE via anamorphosis-and-isolate.tumblr.com

Reference

[1]	^	Mentalhelp: Unrealistic Expectations About Love and Marriage
[2]	^	PsychologyToday: The Smell of Love
[3]	^	Dr.JamesDobson: The Meaning of Romantic Love
[4]	^	Dr.JudithOrloff: Tips to Identify the Difference Between Love and Lust
[5]	^	Wikihow: 3 Ways to Differentiate Between Love and Friendship
[6]	^	MindBodyGreen: Are You in Love, Or Are You Emotionally Dependent?
[7]	^	PsychologyToday: What Is Love, And What Isn’t?

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