Wednesday, April 5, 2017

How to Regain Your Positive Energy When Things Are Getting Tough

Positive thinking is a mental and emotional state of mind that focuses on the good and expects positive outcomes. Developing and maintaining a positive attitude involves more than merely thinking happy thoughts. It is the anticipation of good (i.e. happiness, health and success) and it is the belief that all things–situations, obstacles and difficulties–will work out favorably in the end.

Optimism does not involve ignoring negativity. It is the acknowledgement of the negative but then choosing to focus on the positive. At its root, it is simply the belief that despite the current circumstances things will work out favorable in the end. A positive mind comes from a heart full of faith.

20 ways to revive positive energy

Staying positive can be tough. Optimism stares obstacles in eye and consciously chooses to look past them and believe… The problem comes in when the obstacles begin to obstruct optimism’s view. Positivity can start to wain when you are bombarded with a succession of negativity, failures, disappointment and heartbreak. Every challenge we face withdraws from us energy, resilience and a little bit of our faith. Once your positive resources (energy, resilience and faith) are depleted, pessimism slowly begins to creep in and take hold. Below is a list of 20 things you can do to help revive your positive energy:

1. Enjoy nature

Research shows that reveling in the great outdoors promotes human health. Spending time in serene natural environments has been scientifically proven to lower stress levels, improve working memory and provide a sense of rejuvenation.[1].

2. Perform random acts of kindness

Finding ways to put a smile on the face of others effects you just as much as it effects them. It takes the focus off of you and your problems and allows you to be a positive force in the lives of others. Doing good for others makes you feel good. It lifts your mood, improves self esteem and self-worth and it serves as a small distraction from your current challenges.

3. Develop an attitude of gratitude

Noticing and appreciating the positives in our lives is a great way to lift your spirits and provide yourself a mental boost[2].

4. Take a mental break

Exhaustion is the silent killer of positivity. Learn to take breaks when things get overwhelming[3]. Do something that gives your mind a break from whatever challenge you are facing–and that could just mean taking a nap.

5. Laugh

Laughter truly is the best medicine for most of what ails us[4]. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Find a way to laugh–often. Watch a comedy, spend the evening with your crazy friend who knows how to keep you in stitches. Host a game night with your friends. Find a way to laugh.

6. Hang around positive people

Research suggests that stress is contagious[5] — and the more you surround yourself with it, the more likely you are to let it affect your thoughts. In the same way that stress and negativity are contagious so is happiness[6]. The bottom line here is our behavior and thought patterns mirror those we hang around. Choose carefully who you allow into your circle.

7. Look for the silver lining immediately

Trying to force optimistic thinking amidst emotional turmoil or a bit shocked usually don’t work that well. However, training yourself to look for the lesson and find the bright spot not only eases the burden a little it also will slowly began to transform your entire thought process

8. Breathe deeply

Breathing exercises help expel toxic air from your body and refills your body and more importantly–your brain with fresh air. It clears your mind and allows you to regain mental clarity. One moment of clarity at the right time can change everything[7].

9. Don’t Dwell on negativity

Avoid dwelling on downers… downers bring you down! Focusing on negatives isn’t just unpleasant, it also can make you less effective in tackling other tasks you face. Negativity produces more negativity. Bad things happen–try not to replay them over and over and fixate on un-pleasantries.

10. Engage in positive self talk

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself things are going to turnaround and will work out in the end. Say it out loud. Speaking what you believe out loud reinforces and strengthens the message. You say it and hear it simultaneously[8].

11. Talk it out with a friend

Find a positive friend (or small group of friends) or confidant to talk to. Talking helps you hear the problem, admit and discuss your feelings and it gives you another set of eyes and ears working on the problem. You may find that brainstorming with another person or even a group will help you come up with new ideas to help you resolve the issue. It also reassures you that someone has your back and that emotional support makes a difference. Think of it as low-budget therapy[9].

12. Take a walk

Scientists have found that one of the best ways to chase the blues away is by going for a walk[10]. A brisk Walk or calms you down by sparking nerve cells in the brain that relax the senses.

13. Engage in rigorous exercise

Getting sweaty is not just good for your heart–it’s good for your head too! Research on anxiety, depression and exercise shows that the psychological and physical benefits of exercise helps reduce anxiety and elevates your mood[11]. When you engage in vigorous physical activity “feel good” brain chemicals (neurotransmitters, endorphins and endocannabinoids) are released that ease feelings of negativity, it distracts you from your issues, and it physically relaxes you.

14. Sleep

Proper rest is a critical part of maintaining a positive attitude. Studies have shown that even partial sleep deprivation has a significant effect on your mental state. Researchers from University of Pennsylvania[12] discovered that subjects who were limited to less than 5 hours of sleep a night for one week felt significantly more stressed, angry, sad, and mentally exhausted. It’s hard to maintain a positive mindset under those conditions. Get some sleep!

15. Journal

Journaling is a great way to deal with overwhelming emotions. It provides a healthy outlet in which you can express yourself and manage your emotions and overall mental health. Keeping a journal can help you identify and track the causes of negative thinking and develop a mitigation plan[13].

16. Play Hooky

Taking the occasional break from the daily grind is fun, freeing and necessary. Figure out what makes you feel alive and happy and do that. Whether its watching Netflix in your p.j.’s all day or if it’s kayaking down a river–the goal is to have fun–whatever that means to you[14].

17. Treat Yo’ self

Rewarding yourself with “me time” and celebrating who you are as a person is vital to sustaining a positive outlook. Find small, meaningful and healthy ways to indulge yourself from time to time[15].

18. Move through your day mindfully (be fully present in every moment)

Worry and dwelling on pervasively stressful thoughts with are optimism assassins. Living mindfully involves conscietously deciding to be fully present in each moment. When throw all of your attention, energy and resources on the now you don’t have the space for negative thoughts or worrying[16].

19. Take care of yourself spiritually

Paying attention to and investing in yourself spiritually is something most people neglect. You watch what you eat, workout, try to get enough sleep and do all the things you should to keep your body and mind fit and functioning. But part of maintaining good mental health and a positive state of mind is soul care. Take time to feed your soul and keep the mind- body-spirit connection strong by engaging in spirit enhancing, contemplative activities such as meditation, prayer, reading spiritual materials and/or attending religious services[17].

20. Celebrate small wins

Who doesn’t love a good celebration? Celebrating small victories is one of the quickest ways to give negativity the boot. Getting out of bed this morning is a win! Celebrate it. If you stayed in bed today and got a little extra rest–that too is a win! Instead of focusing on pending doom or sulking over losses–actively seek out and celebrate the things you do well and a the things you did get right today.

Here are 20 Inspirational picture quotes to help you jump start your positive train of thoughts.

10 positive Facebook groups that are worth checking out:

1. Positive Energy+

2. Think Positive to Make Things Positive

3. Power of Positivity

4. Positive Thoughts

5. Let’s Be Positive

6. Positive Vibes

7. Inspiration

8. Positivity Inspires

9. Think Positive Power

10. Success Motivation

Reference

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Why You're Not Incapable, You're Just Burning Out

Living in this fast-paced society, we are vulnerable to burnout. Yet, if you can spot out the early symptoms of burnout, you can nip the bud and prevent a complete burnout, which otherwise is going to hinder your personal and also your professional life.

Have a look at the following list of early signs of burnout. If you have got some of these, very likely you are experiencing a burnout which you have not yet noticed!

Some obvious signs of a burnout

  • Difficult sleeping: you have trouble falling asleep; or worse, you stay awake all night.
  • Loss of appetite: you find yourself skipping meals as you do not feel hungry.
  • Negative feeling: you occasionally feel hopelessness, sadness, guilt, or self-worthlessness.

Some lesser-known signs of a burnout

  • Repulsion of social situation: you feel uneasy or even angry when someone is trying to talk to you.
  • Loss of enjoyment: you feel not wanting to go to work or to school; you even no longer enjoy spending time with your friends and families, or doing the things you once liked to do.
  • Underperformance: when failing to carry a project or to finish the task on time, people tend to think they are incapable. However, apart from low ability, it may be you are dragged behind by the burnout. The chronic stress is hindering you from being as productive as you were.

If you are having one or more of the above symptoms, you may be amid the middle of a burnout without your notice.

How burnout is defined from a medical perspective

A burnout is not just an emotional state, but it is actually a medical syndrome.

According to Dr. Ruotsalainen and his colleagues, a burnout is a type of psychological stress. It is characterised by exhaustion and lack of enthusiasm, and reduces efficacy within the workplace.[1]

And according to the doctor of psychology, Sherrie B. Carter, a burnout can cause the following three problems:[2]

  • Physical and emotional exhaustion
  • Cynicism and detachment
  • Feeling of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment

The causes of burnout

A burnout very often stems from one’s job. However, besides the career, other aspects of life can also contribute to a burnout.

The following list tells all the possible causes of a burnout: [3]

Job-related causes of a burnout

  • Doing unchallenging work
  • Working under a high-pressure environment
  • Facing demanding expectation

Lifestyle causes of a burnout

  • Lacking supportive relationship
  • Lacking sufficient sleep

Personality traits that cause a burnout

  • Perfectionist
  • Pessimistic about yourself and the world
  • The need to gain control

Dr. Ruotsalainen and his colleagues summarize that a burnout is a consequence of one’s inability to fully cope with a stressor; a burnout is not easily recognized, and will grow slowly, until it becomes severe.

To tackle burnout, try to identify the root cause of it first.

A burnout after all is the signals sent by your body to remind you that you need some rest. Before it is too late to prevent a burnout from getting serious, it is best to recognize the root cause of a burnout.

5 whys is a helpful tool at hand.

5 whys, developed by Sakichi Toyoda, is a an interrogative technique aiming to explore the cause-and-effect relation.

The primary goal of this technique is to keep asking the questions “why” until one reaches the heart of the problem. Each answer of the previous “why” provides the foundation of the next “why”.

For example, you may start the practice when you recognise the burnout stems from your job.

Problem: My job causes the burnout

  • First why: why my job causes the burnout?
    because it is too stressful!
  • Second why: why is my job stressful?
    because the deadline of the project is due this Thursday.
  • Third why: why do I find this project stressful?
    because it is my first time to lead a project.
  • Fourth why: why do I feel stressful for being the first time to lead a project?
    because I want to impress my manager by nailing it, and I can’t fail.
  • Fifth why: why do I want to impress my manager so eagerly?
    because I hope to get a promotion so that I can earn more to support my next coming second new born.

Now, after a sequence of analytical interrogation, you finally reach the root that causes your burnout: the stress from your job is just a disguise; what you are really scared is the financial burden accompanied by your coming new born.

As illustrated here, 5 whys is a great tool encouraging you to avoid assumption and logical flaw before you reach the cause and effect of a problem. By finding the root cause of your burnout, it will become easier to tackle it.

Then, break down the big issue into smaller manageable actions.

To break down big problem into smaller ones is a mental technique called compartmentalisation.[4] It is widely applied by many successful entrepreneurs.

The primary goal of compartmentalisation is to isolate the problems from each other, and tackle them one by one. It encourages us to separate our focus into several sessions, and devote each session of focus into one problem only.

To start with, you can list all the things you have to do, for example:

  1. Discuss with the HR regarding the coming recruitment
  2. Call my son’s teacher discussing his examination’s result
  3. Plan for the upcoming exhibition
  4. Go to the pharmacy to buy supplement

After you divide the work of today, you should then allocate time for each task.

  1. Discuss with the HR regarding the coming recruitment (within 30 minutes)
  2. Call my son’s teacher discussing his examination’s result (within 30 minutes)
  3. Plan for the upcoming exhibition (within 1 hour)
  4. Go to the pharmacy to buy supplement (within 30 minutes)

And after you have planned the time, stick to your plan, and focus on one task each time.

Let’s admit that life is full of struggles. However, if one focuses too much attention on one single problem, he or she will forget there are also other important issues demanding their attention. It is neither good if he or she stuffs all the problems simultaneously into his or her head.

Compartmentalisation is then a great technique for you to tackle the problems more effectively, preventing you from being exploded by stress.

Re-evaluate your priorities too, because burnout is a sign that something important in your life is not working.

In a nutshell, a burnout is a warning sign that something important in your life is not running smoothly.

No matter what, it is always not too late to devote some time to pondering upon your hope, your ambition, and your future. Ask yourself seriously: Are you neglecting something important? Are you doing it just because? Or are you doing it because you do want to do it?

In this light, a burnout is a good opportunity for you to reflect upon your life.

To help you re-evaluate your priorities, we have the following advices:

  • Say NO to things you do not truly want to do.
  • Nourish your creativity by learning skills you always want to learn.
  • Sleep well as sleeping is the most crucial hours for you to heal.
  • Turn away from technology and take some real rest!

Reference

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Why Do People Lie and How to Deal with Liars

“Why did you LIE to me? You tore my heart apart.”

“I had all my faith on you and this is the way you repay me? We are DONE! You lying monster.”

Well, people from time to time encounter similar situations, either being the one to lie or the one to be lied. This is always heartbreaking to discover the cruel truth.

None loves to be lied. But we all lie, don’t we?

Sometimes we forgive the liar. Sometimes we don’t. What makes the difference?

Frequency. And more importantly, intention.

There are lies that aim to harm and to avoid harm. Lying is bad but the intention can be good.

Simply put, there are two types of lies, harmless and harmful ones.

Not All Lies Are Harmful…

Harmless lies are lies that aren’t intended to cause harm to anyone. Or even for the good of us. They involve distortion or exaggeration of facts. These lies usually come with the following intentions:

Avoid hurting the others

Such lies are told to protect our self-worth or protect us from being hurt by some cruel facts. For example, a mother tells her children their father has gone to somewhere far away and won’t come back for a long time. The fact is their father is a soldier who on his service died in a battle. The mother, in this case, simply doesn’t want their kids to know the death, which is very disheartening, but continue to live a happy life.

Avoid conflicts in social interaction

For this kind of lie, it is told to maintain the pleasantness of any social situation. A good example can be found in a grand premiere. Journalists always start the interview by praising the others’ dressing. It may not be their true opinions but it for sure pleases the interviewees to have a smooth harmonious interview.

Self-protecting by not letting others know our fear and insecurities

It involves minimization of self-disclosure to hide our fear and insecurities. Personal privacy is usually distorted. Sometimes we simply don’t want the others to know too much about ourselves. Some regretful memories or pitiful past, for example, are usually not disclosed to the others to avoid reminiscence of the painful moments.

Safeguard our pride and self-esteem

This lie is usually told by self-oriented persons but they do not intend to hurt anyone. Instead, they try to boost self confidence or catch attention by exaggerating. It can often be seen on people who rely greatly on the others’ acknowledgement to feel contented or empowered. They will exaggerate on their achievements or experiences to receive a few “Wow” in order to feel good about themselves.

Harmless lies, in spite of its neutral or good intention, may not be actually good. If we never reveal our true self to the others, how are we supposed to establish true friendship? Yet, when compared to harmful lies, they cause much less damage to the others.

Beware of The Poisonous Lies!

Harmful lies, on the other hand, are the true murderers of precious relationships. It begins with evil intentions and manipulates the others. Unreal “facts” are constructed to trick them into doing us a favor. These lies are those we have to be alert.

Gain others’ trust and affection

It involves the distortion of facts to forge an impression that others are of their favor. For example, in this way, we gain trust or affection of the others to have a brighter future in career. This mostly happens in business environment when we want to have more cooperative colleagues or a senior more supportive of ourselves. And this is where flattering and lying begin. Another occasion is when we want an interview or to impress the others in an interview so badly that we have to disguise our true self.

Evade from responsibilities

We all hate punishments. We never actively look for them but sometimes they just knock on our door. This is the moment we try to lie our way off from them. This is unfair and to be worse, it may lead to an innocent person taking our blame. The most common lie attempts on this occasion has to be in college. When teacher asks for the one who does the bad deeds, we always refuse to confess and point to others.

Take advantage of the others

This harmful lie is told when we want a favor from the others which normally they won’t provide. For example, when we are too reluctant to work and want someone else to share the burden, we will pretend to be in poor condition or to encounter some urgent situations where helps are needed.

There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Deal with Liars

First and foremost, the way we are going to deal with the exposed liar is totally dependent on whether we want to maintain a good relationship with them. In addition, the nature of the lies has to be considered. None wants to be executed on the first trial.

Those who tell harmless lies:

  • Keep it in our heart

Exposing a lie is dangerous. It can put both us and the liar in a very uncomfortable situation. The liar is like a suspect under confrontation. This is harsh to feel and we are sorry for them as they are not intended to harm us.

Why not keep it secret? Just move on as if we never knew about it. Learning someone’s broken family background? Focus back on the present days and the happy future we will be having with them. If it does not affect us, sometimes it is better not to expose it.

  • Expose the lie but make everyone feel good

Imagine when a friend refused to chill out with us, saying that he/she had to work overtime. Yet, we later found that he/she was at a bar enjoying a beer with another group of friends. In this case, we can try revealing the lie while making the liar feel good.

This can be done by making up a reason for their lies. The liar will then be aware of the fact that we know about the lie but we are trying to smooth everything. More importantly, this may actually promote friendship, knowing we try to avoid the embarrassing confrontation and they are likely not to lie again.

  • Expose the lie but show understanding

The last way is to show understanding to the liar. Tell them how we find it reasonable to tell lies and accept it. Sometimes, lies are told just for self-protection and they want our acceptance and affection rather than a favor or two. In such sense, we should express our understanding and forgive them.

Those who tell harmful lies:

Justice has to be served. Expose it and don’t be afraid of direct confrontation. Bear in mind that they are taking advantage of us and this has to be stopped. In addition to revealing their lies, we should distance ourselves with the liars and be more cautious next time.

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crossconnectmag: The Psychedelic Paintings by @Hannah Faith...

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Illustrations by Bao Phaminstagram l tumblr l shop







Illustrations by Bao Pham

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Beat Rothen - 4 family apartment building, Wetzikon 2013. Photos...

Carmina VillaLocated in the exclusive area of Agios Lazaros,...





















Carmina Villa

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