Monday, March 6, 2017

The Best Zombie Movie Ever: But It’s Not About Zombie, It’s About Human Nature

Asian movies are seldom nominated for Oscars. Yet, there are a lot of hidden gems.

One of them in recent months is a Korean zombie thriller called Train to Busan. So far it has grossed $87.5 million worldwide and has set multiple records in different places in Asia like Malaysia, Hong Kong, Singapore, etc.

What made it an unstoppable force? Unlike ordinary zombie movies, this one is not about zombie actually. It’s about human nature.

It triggers a lot of questions that you normally won’t ask yourself: What would you do when you’re in danger? Who would you take care first? Your loved one? Yourself? Or a stranger? What if you can only choose one person to save?

And all the answers of these questions would reflect a lot, about the person, and also the society. When it really happens, you might just become so shocked by your own immediate reaction. After all we only know one’s true colors when disasters come.

Needless to doubt, this movie is great for its intense plot and overwhelming emotions . But if you just look for something entertaining, this film might over-deliver.

Trailer

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7-Year Itch? Should Be 4-Year Itch Actually

Does 7-year itch really exist or not?

When couples who’ve been many years together and break up, people often become so shocked and would attribute that to 7-year itch.

“Oh…how come? They’ve been so sweet together! I just can’t believe that…Maybe it’s 7-year itch…”

It’s always a pity to see promising couples to break up. It’s like forcing you to accept the truth that nothing lasts long.

But is it really a phenomenon we can’t avoid? Or, it’s just an excuse?

7-year itch is partly truth

Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University, did a project to see if 7-year itch really exist or not.

She found that although the median duration of marriage was 7 years, most of them divorced at the 4th year[1].

▲The peak is at the 4th year

Image credit: Statistics New Zealand

By coincidence, another research shows similar results. This time the researcher Dr. Larry A. Kurdek, studied more than 500 couples to see the trend of their marital satisfaction over the years. The biggest decline occurs at the 4th year. And there’s a second decline at the 7th year, which scale is smaller though.[2]

Some reasons scientists suggested for the 4-year itch and 7-year itch

4-year itch

For the peak at the 4th year, researcher Helen Fisher tried to explain it by taking references from animals. She said most mammals don’t stay with their partners forever. Usually they just stay with them long enough to raise their offsprings to the age of 4. After that it’s time to say goodbye. This is also a common phenomenon in some tribes. Biologically speaking, this is beneficial because as they have offsprings with different partners, the genetic variety increases.[3]

7-year itch

For the 7th-year decline, one explanation is that human has big changes every 7 years[4]. This is a theory that has been widely adopted in the education field. That’s why a lot of educational systems divide children’s development into three stages from the age of 0-6/7, 6/7-14 and 14 and up.

So…should I try to save the relationship or not?

The 4-year itch and 7-year itch do exist. But it doesn’t mean every relationship that reaches the 4th year or the 7th year is doomed. If you can overcome such crisis, your relationship will only become stronger.

One important thing to note though is that you should make sure if you are just bored, or you’re really in a wrong relationship. Once you know the person is right for you, don’t let the petty stuff and time ruin you. If the person is wrong, don’t hold on for the sake of holding on. The 4-year itch and 7-year itch might just help you make up your mind better!

Reference

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Your Attractiveness Affects Your Love Life? It's How You Respond To Life That Counts More

Do you constantly show your love and affection to your significant other? Or do you only express your feelings of love when your partner expresses theirs to you first?

A lot of people seem to believe that their personalities and looks play a big role in their love lives. You’re not alone. When striking out in the dating world, it’s not uncommon to think something is wrong with the way you look or that you may have a few personality flaws.

However, it’s how you respond to life that makes a much bigger difference. When I changed the way I looked at life and the way I chose to live, my love life transformed.

Whether we want to admit it or not, love is something we all need. Some of us can be more focused on receiving love rather than giving it. You may or may not know this, but love can be proactive or reactive. For an explanation about what this means, keep reading.

What’s the difference?

Proactive people are ready to go out and make things happen. They decide what they want and go after it without hesitation. They know exactly what they don’t want so they take measures to prevent it from happening.

On the other hand, reactive people are essentially just the opposite. They wait for what they want to happen, and will often complain when and if things do not work out in their favor. Reactive people rarely know what they want out of life, and are generally pretty negative, about everything.

After reading these definitions, I’m sure you’re able to figure out which type of person you are. If you have come to realize or already know that you’re a reactive person, you must know that this can impact your love life tremendously. As previously stated, it’s much easier to think your looks and personality are to blame for the lack of love in your life. It’s much harder to accept that your outlook on life in general is the reason.

Here’s what I mean…

A proactive lover chooses to give unconditional love without thought. They will look for reasons to love rather than searching for reasons not to love. A proactive lover is selfless. They know that love isn’t always easy, and they’re more than ready to go the extra mile for their partner without any expectations in return.

A reactive lover tends to point out your flaws rather than shining light on your positive qualities. They are more self-centered and they love with conditions attached. This lover tends to wear their significant other down, and puts a very large strain on the relationship. Reactive lovers will constantly take love and rarely give it.

I once was not in a good place in my life. I had just gotten out of a relationship, I was dissatisfied with my job and my life overall. I let myself get out of shape, I wasn’t taking care of myself, and when a potential relationship didn’t work out in my favor I always had someone or something else to blame.

After a year of consistent negative thoughts about myself and my life, I chose to make a change. I decided to be the person that I would want to meet. I realized that every day I woke up remaining stuck in that negative, reactive mindset would be a day that I would never get back. Making that conscious choice to improve my life has increased my quality of life and my opportunities in regards to love.

The more you give, the more you receive

The best way to be successful in both life and love is to create more value than you take. Think about this: would you rather have a friend who is always taking from you and taking advantage of you? Or would you rather have a friend who is always generous, caring, and offering a helping hand even when you do not ask for it? Most would choose the latter. At one point or another, what you give and put out into the universe will eventually recirculate and find its way back to you.

If you feel that you have been living your life from a reactive view, it’s never too late to change. That change will start within you. By changing your thoughts, you can change your life. By becoming proactive in life and love, you open the door to so many opportunities that you would have missed before.

Featured photo credit: http://ift.tt/1eYTOMy via shutterstock.com

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4 Ways Introverts Nail Job Interviews Without Pretending To Be Extroverted

If you’re an introvert like me, you probably find interviews nerve-wracking, frustrating, or even torturous. We truly know that we’re as capable as our extroverted peers. But the truth is that desirable job are taken by them. One after another.

This scenario may be familiar to you. You’re in the interview room with three other candidates to compete for your dream job. From the vibes and the body languages of your opponents, you can sense that they’re typical extroverts. They look confident without the slightest sign of anxiety, as if they were having a gathering with their old friends. But you just feel uncomfortable in this unfamiliar environment. Just the thought of interacting with a group of new people already makes you feel drained. You force yourself to wear a smile and convince yourself that you’re the best actor in the world. Pretending to be extroverted for the following hour is just a breeze for you. Right?

The group discussion starts. Candidate A takes the lead to throw out ideas. The pace of the interview is totally under his control. He dominates the setting like a leader. One-third of the interview has passed, then you finally contribute a great idea. The interviewers keep nodding their heads to show appreciation of your answer. Just a while later, candidate B interrupts and casts doubt on your idea. While you’re still thinking how to respond to her properly, she acts quickly and bombards you with another question. You notice that candidate C struggles a bit with the topic being discussed. But when he starts speaking, everyone just can’t keep their eyes off him. He smiles handsomely. His intonation and gestures are so engaging that everyone immediately likes him and even seems to want to be his friend after the interview has ended.

After you step out of the interview room, you can’t stop reflecting on the performance of your group. You can’t deny that your extroverted peers have their own edges you can learn from. But you’re sure that you’re the best candidate for the position. Not only does the quality of your ideas trump theirs, but also your introversion enables you to handle a job that involves a lot of independent work and attention to detail. A week later, you receive a rejection letter. You know that one of your extroverted peers gets the job you’ve longed for. At that moment, you feel like your confidence evaporates, and you question if today’s society knows how to appreciate the qualities possessed by introverts.

How to nail interviews even they’re not favorable to you

Yes, it can be frustrating to think that interviews are not a favorable setting for introverts. But that doesn’t mean you can’t perform well while interviewing. The first thing you need to do is abandoning the thought that you need to pretend to be extroverted to win the entrance ticket to your dream job. Actually, almost half of the population is introverted.[1] Your tribe is everywhere in the world. Even the interviewers you dread are probably introverts. They DO know the power of introversion. You just need to demonstrate it with these 4 tricks:

1. Make personal connections

Introverts easily make others think that they’re not participatory or engaged in interviews. The main reason is that they don’t feel comfortable to maintain constant eye contact with the people they first meet. And sometimes they unknowingly exhibit gestures that mislead others to think they’re not friendly or reluctant to social interactions.

To avoid sending the wrong messages, before entering the interview room, you can associate the interviewers you’re going to meet with your old friends and tell yourself that they’ll definitely like you. The mild adjustment of mindset can make you feel more connected to them. During the interview, you can demonstrate your strength of connecting with individuals by switching your eye contact between each interviewer from time to time. This can make you feel more calm without making any one of the interviewers feel left out.

2. Take your time answering questions

Another problem introverts commonly have in interviews is that they can’t respond to questions as quickly as extroverts. Science has proven that the brains of introverts and extroverts are wired differently.[2] Although introverts are better at thinking deeply, they need more time to organize their complex way of thinking.

If you really need some time to think before you speak, it’s definitely fine to tell interviewers you need a moment to formulate your ideas. It’s a common misconception that quick response means good answers. You can make up for the time you lose with high quality answers, which demonstrates you have a more detailed mind than your extroverted peers.

3. Take self-discussion as sharing, not bragging

Unlike extroverts, introverts are less fond of sharing their thoughts with others instantly. They like to examine whether their thoughts are valid or consistent with their values before they speak. If you’re the introvert who equates talking about your achievements with bragging, you may find promoting yourself in interviews embarrassing and try to avoid it. And so, interviewers can’t see how you’re a strong candidate.

Talking about your achievements does not have to become bragging. Instead of stressing how capable you are explicitly, you can tell interviewers what you have learned from your experiences and how you can make use of your knowledge to contribute to the position you’re applying for. You can also talk about how you would keep honing your existing skills after you get the job.

4. Dare to show your introverted side

I don’t know why many people hold the misconception that we must act in interviews to get through them. The more outgoing, talkative, and pleasant you are in interviews, the more likely you will be liked by interviewers and get the job. Of course, everyone likes working with someone with the qualities I just mentioned. But how long you can put on the persona? It would be a bad idea that you fake your way through the interview to land a job not suitable for you.

So just be yourself.[3] When you’re asked about your strengths and weaknesses, for example, you can acknowledge that, as an introvert, you find written communication more effective to you (of course, you’ll also tell interviewers how you will improve face-to-face communication with your colleagues). And then you can highlight the positive aspects of your introverted nature, like being a great listener and observer, something which your extroverted peers may lack. By showing who you genuinely are, you can behave more naturally and perform better in interviews.

Just as Susan Cains writes in her famous book “Quiet : The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”,[4] many introverts possess extraordinary talents and abilities that the world hasn’t discovered. That’s why you need to take a bold step forward to show your true colors to everyone, especially in settings you find dreadful. If I can do it, I believe you can do it as well!

Reference

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2017 Best Picture nominees Art by Drayton Benedict



2017 Best Picture nominees 
Art by Drayton Benedict

I’ve been in the middle of a move the last two weeks, apologies...



I’ve been in the middle of a move the last two weeks, apologies for the slow posting rate. It will probably continue to be a little spotty the next week or so as I get settled. In the meantime, please visit the subtilitas instagram, the archive, or visit a random post. Thanks as always to all the readers, I know I’ve fallen a bit behind on emails as well but I will try and get to everyone shortly. 

-Jeff

Park Hyatt MilanSmack dab in the heart of the city, steps away...



















Park Hyatt Milan

Smack dab in the heart of the city, steps away from Piazza del Duomo and the luxurious Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II shopping arcade, Park Hyatt Milan combines wonderful classical architecture with stylish interior design and state-of-the-art amenities.

The hotel occupies a striking 19th century palazzo, and its sophisticated marble-clad rooms are decorated with elegant Italian fabrics, Venetian stucco, and Murano lamps. The onsite Spa by Sisley is the perfect place to relax in the lap of luxury, featuring aromatherapy showers and a whirlpool bath covered in exquisite mosaic and 24-carat gold leaf.

When hungry, indulge in outstanding Italian cuisine at the Michelin-starred VUN restaurant, or visit Mio Bar for an authentic Milan aperitivo experience.

Compare prices for this hotel at TripAdvisor

Animations by Esteban Diacono Esteban Diacono is an Argentinian... crss















Animations by Esteban Diacono

Esteban Diacono is an Argentinian freelance motion graphics designer based in Buenos Aires. “Sometimes speaker. Definitely not an artist” - as he says. He works in the design/motion graphics/post production industry for over 12 years. For more visit estebandiacono.tv/


Like what you see? Follow Cross Connect for the gorgeous art!

posted by Margaret

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rexisky: Pillars of Creation, M16 Eagle Nebula -  NASA Hubble... crss



rexisky:

Pillars of Creation, M16 Eagle Nebula -  NASA Hubble Space Telescope WFPC2, WFC3/UVIS

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