Tuesday, January 31, 2017

7 Golden Rules Successful People Always Have In Their Mind

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This Famous Movie Scene Reminds Us The Importance of Protecting Our Dreams No Matter What

A common goal for all humankind is to reach happiness. Fulfilling personal dreams is the key to  open doors of eternal happiness

Will Smith in the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness, finds time to play basketball with his son. His son is visibly upset when he does not perform well and is ready to give up. Instead of discouraging him, he gives him a life lesson to protect his dreams.

‘Don’t ever let somebody tell you,you can’t do something.Not even me.
All right?

You got a dream?You gotta protect it.

People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it.

You want something?

Go get it! Period.

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Your Life Begins Again Only When You Learn To Truly Let Go

Every single one of us has been through that one moment in our life. That defining moment that changes who we are, when you think life couldn’t possibly go on. For many people, life seems to stop after losing a loved one. Maybe it’s a bad breakup or a difficult divorce. But for you, the clock stopped and you don’t think you’ll ever get over this tragedy.

And it’s true, your life did stop and you did suffer a tragedy. But no matter how helpless and alone you feel right now, life will begin again and it will get better – as soon as you learn to let go.

“Everyone’s allowed to be in love with the wrong person at some point. In fact, it’s a mistake not to be.” – Harriet Evans

You thought you met the love of your life. The two of you spent your free time snuggled up in bed, dreaming about the future, about getting married, and making a home. Then one day, all of the small problems, once simple annoyances, become too much to bare. The two of you agree on a breakup and you’re left with all the pain of putting the broken pieces back together.

But, breaking up is about so much more than moving on and healing. It’s the opportunity to learn about yourself and to understand the root of your relationship’s problems, so you learn to practice self-love. It’s just like physical injury. The injury, the pain – it always has a root cause. Figure out the root cause so you can prevent it from happening in the future. [1] Love yourself, recognize your needs.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

Let’s be very clear about something – divorce does not mean that you give up on your marriage or on your family. Nobody enters marriage thinking of the end. People get married as the ultimate confirmation of love, it’s the promise to build a life together and to grow together.

But sometimes, life doesn’t work out the way we planned. As Crystal Jackson so eloquently put it, “At a certain point, we realize that the sink is shipping… So, yes, we get off the damn ship and start looking for a lifeboat – a whole new life.” [2] That’s not failure, that’s accepting the truth and choosing a better life. You can’t make a relationship work by yourself. Recognizing that and choosing yourself, that’s self-love and survival.

“Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation.” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take a minute to assess your current relationship. Why are you in it? Be honest with yourself. Is it out of happiness, love, and want? Or is it out of need or obligation? Because if you have any sense of obligation, that’s likely to turn into resentment in the future. Why? When you feel obligated to stay, you are effectively limiting your power of choice. [3] Do yourself a favor, practice self-love. It’s time to move on and start your life anew.

“Never love anybody that treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

Don’t accept the idea that what you have now is good enough, that it can never be better. Especially not if the relationship is full of lies and distrust. You stay because you’ve grown comfortable with good enough, with the ordinary. You’re settling for less and you deserve more.

Settling for good enough might mean that you think you don’t deserve happiness. [4] It’s time to take on some difficult decision making, build up some motivation, and work toward self-love through self-improvement. You are worth a happy life and that will only begin when you let go of the past.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

Making big mistakes, losing your optimism, and hitting rock bottom – these are the things that will lead you to happiness. Tragic moments allow us to reflect on our wants and needs, paving the way to change. The mistakes we make in love lead us to the right person in the future – the true love of our life. [5]

Let go of the negativity, focus on self-love and positivity.

Reference

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If You Want To Be A High Achiever, You Need To Adopt This Mindset

You’re driven. You achieve a lot of your goals. Like a tyrant, that little voice in your head demands your absolute commitment to achievement. Heck, you even wrote out plans for achievement. You may think these thoughts and actions are pushing you to achieve but are they the habits of high achievers?

You could also be just the opposite having to constantly tell yourself to stop using Facebook, be more productive, focus more. While these are definitely not the habits of high achievers, you really have the desire to become one.

The real question is, when it comes to life do you just want to just “take it as it comes” or reach for something great? Hopefully you’re serious enough to choose the latter and ready to start your journey to truly become a high achiever.

How To Be A High Achiever

You must begin with discovering something that matters to you in a big way. It must mean enough to light a fire inside of you. Whatever it is, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get there. You may already know what that is. The key point is having that passionate drive to really push yourself hard to accomplish your goals consistently.

Next, set yourself a BANG – a Big Awesome Nervy Goal with your passion directly in the cross-hair. There is no brain surgery needed here. The goal just needs to be achievable but challenging enough to make you push the envelope so to speak, to get it done. Realize that every time you stretch your boundaries and push your limits, you grow as a person.

Learn To Become A Finisher Through The Completion-Centric Planning Approach

High achievers are obsessed with finishing. Once a project is given to them, they will work obsessively and compulsively to finish it. Some may go about it in an organized way, others may not. But one thing is certain – they will do whatever it takes to get it done.

Cultivating a finisher mentality is not hard to do if you go about it the right way. Let’s start with one truth: real achievement requires you to push very hard. When you work on achieving something one task at a time, it’s easy to bypass these hard pushes by doing lots of easy tasks. Instead, adopt a completion-centric planning approach. With completion-centric planning, you are focused on the completion of projects instead of individual tasks as your daily constitution.

Here’s how it works. Sit down at your computer, open your favorite word processor and do the following:

  1. Make an Active Projects List– List 5-10 of the projects that are most important to you from 3 related categories: professional (related to your job or school), personal (family, home), other (big projects like writing a book, starting a business).
  2. Mark each project with criteria for completion– For each project write a brief description of the actions that must be taken to complete the project.
  3. Make another list on the same page and name it a Holding Pen– Use this list to add new projects while working on the active projects. You can save them here until you’ve completed the current batch.

Working The System

Each day, review your project list and figure out which project that you can make the most progress on that day and do it. Do whatever it takes. If it requires a hard push, go for it. Your biggest goal is to work on completing projects despite other responsibilities outside of these project. Harness an obsession to kill the list.

Work as hard as you possibly can to finish your projects. Once you’ve completed a project take a rest for at least a week. Spend this time doing small amounts of work. Use this time to recharge your energy.

Some Final Thoughts

Following a system that creates a workflow rhythm that’s necessary for completion-centric planning is what high achievers do to accomplish their work. Sure, it doesn’t have the appeal of leisurely working on tasks at your own easy pace but achievement is not pretty. You need to learn to go after your goals with a fierce determination and gusto. This system will teach you to do that. Now, try it for yourself. You might be surprised at what you can achieve.

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When I Stopped Being Afraid To Make Mistakes, I Started To Live A Better Life

We’ve all been there. Stuck at a crossroads, trying to make a decision that will change the rest of our life.

Doubt creeps in, and you remember all the times you tried something out in the past and screwed it up. This time you might mess it up, too. You might make the wrong move. You might fail. And so, you punk out.

You don’t go up to that girl you’ve fancied for two years and ask her out. You don’t begin that new job search or look up apartments to rent in that exciting new city. You’re scared of making a mistake, and it can be debilitating.

Fortunately, I have a few nifty ideas that helped me to make a change whilst I was going through this very experience. Thankfully, I am now more free to do what I want without worrying so much about the “what ifs”. Here’s how:

Remember, everyone makes mistakes

It’s true. We all mess up sometimes, and we all worry that we might feel that same rush of shame or embarrassment we felt last time. Once you push past this worry, however, you’ll feel a rush of relief in knowing that it was the fear holding you back that was the real problem. The mental blocks are actually just as bad as the time when you first made the mistake.

Being held back by insecurity can make you feel like there is a stranglehold on your autonomy. So, don’t let it rule you – take that first step.

Make a decision

As Will Smith says, there is power in making a decision and running with it, even if you are not 100% sure. Deciding how you want your future to be will mean you cannot “fail” as much. That’s because you can always try something different if the first option didn’t work out. If you know “how it’s going to be, and who you are going to be,” then minor setbacks won’t bother you as much.

You will regret what you didn’t do more than what you did, even if some things you attempted didn’t go quite right

The unfortunate truth is that mistakes are inevitable. This fact sucks, but once you get over it, you realise that even mistakes can be useful to you. The same way that pain can make you wake up and realize what you appreciate most in life, mistakes wake you up and say “hey, stupid, it’s time to grow!”

Just because you supposedly got something “wrong” doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or a failure. It means that you’re learning, you’re growing. And it means you will come back next time just as fierce, but with more knowledge and power behind you. Next time, you will be wiser, and you will have a greater grasp on life than ever before. But if you don’t do anything for fear of messing up, you never learn anything, other than that you wish you had!

If you plant a positive seed today, you will be set up for success tomorrow

Yes, mistakes are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you have to set yourself up for disaster. It’s simple: if you’ve got something you’re worried about doing, then prepare – go over your presentation script a hundred times until you feel confident about it, or get up on stage so you feel more comfortable doing it.

Whatever it is you need to do to prepare for a moment of opportunity, do it! That way, any mistakes you were worried about won’t even bother you – because you’ll know you’ve got this.

So, I hope this article helped you if you are now where I have been in my life: letting your fear of mistakes hold you back. You’d be amazed at how your life can change once you start changing your own rules. Don’t let this fear diminish how awesome you can be. Because when we’re not holding back on who we really are, we can find that we are more powerful than we ever imagined.

Featured photo credit: Vimeo via images.google.fr

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If You Want To Be Smarter, You Need To Use This Phrase Carefully

Learning new things is one of the best ways to better ourselves and implement self-development and growth. But when you’re expanding your knowledge pool are you doing it as efficiently as possible?

How often do you come across an article, book or any kind of instruction tool that goes towards gaining better knowledge in the area you’re expanding your mind, and see the phrase “for example”? After all, examples are the best way to apply your new-found knowledge to a real-life scenario, helps connect the dots and makes things much clearer. Or do they?

Why “For Example” Isn’t As Helpful As You May Think

Don’t get me wrong, throwing examples into the mix can go a long way in spelling out what you’ve learned. Seeing a way that the fundamental theory can be applied practically helps the brain put it into context.

However, this isn’t exactly the smartest way to do this and here’s why.

While “for example” creates a pathway in the brain to understand the concepts, it’s coming from the mind of somebody else. In other words, an example doesn’t really teach us the underlying mechanisms or allow us to come to our own conclusions. We may read the example and get the ‘light bulb’ moment but we tend to accept that one example instead of thinking up several more of our own.

Thinking up different, unique examples and even making them more applicable to yourself is much smarter than taking in analogies cooked up by someone else.

Reasoning By Analogy Versus Reasoning By First Principles

There are two ways we can make decisions and come to conclusions; one is reasoning by analogy and the other is reasoning by first principles.

Reasoning by analogy is when we base our conclusions and decisions on pre-existing ideas. Examples that are fed to us only allow us to apply what we’ve learned to an already established idea and what others are telling you. However, this is how most people work – our mind often finds the easy way out by building on an idea that is already out there. As a result, we take on problem solving from a space of assumption rather than questioning.

Reasoning by first principles is something Elon Musk has been an advocate of and praises his success on. This is when you take the basis or fundamentals of what you’ve learned and come up with your own application. In other words, come up with your own ideas free from any of the pre-existing ideas and allows us to potentially see something in much finer detail.

The Difficulty Of Putting Examples Into Practice

You could be given all the examples in the world, and while the writer or teacher is trying to be as helpful as he or she can, it’s not allowing you to easily put these into practice. For sure, it’s helping you to remember the concept but when it comes to applying it, you could become stuck pretty quickly undoing the work you’ve put in to thoroughly learn the subject.

To really understand the concept, come up with multiple examples that fit the rule to confirm in your mind that you have fully understood. In addition, don’t use “for example” when explaining things to others. Encourage them to think up examples of their own and watch how they begin to formulate the new ideas themselves.

So next time you come across “for example” when learning something new, take it onboard but be cautious with it. Make sure you think up different ways you can transfer it into different situations and see it form a new angle breaking free from limited, existed thinking.

Featured photo credit: tookapic via pexels.com

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Looking Down On His Unsuccessful Father, The Son Never Knew The Unexpected Truth About Him

Have you ever been annoyed by your parents or felt like embarrassed by them? Thinking your parents aren’t successful enough or that they don’t love you enough – these are normal feelings that most of us have experienced at one time or another.

Gift, a video published on Viddsee.com, takes a look at one son’s relationship with his father. After believing his father to be poor and unsuccessful, the son decides that he doesn’t want to be anything like his father when he grows up.

So, he leaves home and focuses on working hard and becoming rich. Years later, his father dies and the boy returns home. On this trip, he finds out the truth about his father, who had dedicated his life to making other people happy.

Saddened by his mistake, the son finally learns what his father meant when he said, “Being rich is not about how much you have, but about how much you can give.”

Share this message with the world. It’s too easy to forget that money is not what gives our lives meaning.

Featured photo credit: Viddsee.com via youtube.com

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